When temperature drops below -20 Celcius, you have three choices, in Freezingland.
- Stay in. (most reasonable pick, if you ask me… but hard to take when you have to work to put butter and bread on the table… or anything else you might enjoy eating for that matter)
- Get out as if it was still Autumn outside. (For you people who enjoy complaining about your runny noses, and your sky high fevers…)
- Dress up! (no… not going “chic”… Mother Nature couldn’t care less about little black dresses and high heels. I mean going onion-style!)
For you people, who know Mr Frost personally, this post will be of no interest… But I did invite a couple of bloggers from warmer corners of the world over for Christmas. I’d hate it if they didn’t enjoy their time over just because we had to settle for choice #1, and they’d only see my apartment, while in Montréal.
So if you want to see some of the great sights of the City, you might wanna learn how to armor yourself up to fight Mr Frost’s bite like a true Canadian!
First, you have to protect your Footsies. I recommend smartwool socks… I haven’t found yet how they sort out which wool is smart, and which one is dumb, but the 20$ a pair socks I have proved to be very witty wool, because my toes haven’t frozen yet!
I personally don’t need them, but you might want to consider warm long underpants. I just put leg warmers on my ankles, but your thighs might get jealous. And you don’t want jealous thighs as you are walking downtown!
Of course you’ll need winter boots. Go for a pair with studded soles, unless you want to entertain me gliding your way along the icy sidewalks. I’ll appreciate it if you choose to, and I can even prepare cardboard signs to give you artistic notes… It might mean we’d have to visit a hospital, though, and even if it is free, our health system is a bit overrated. Do you really want to cut on our fun time outside just to try it out? Think about it…
Next we get to the real deal… I personally first put on a neck warmer…
The inside is made of the same stuff as my furry socks. No, not the smartwool ones, the fun fuzzy ones I wear at home!
Then, I add my long, thick scarf… Bought in Copenhagen, last February! (No, yours doesn’t have to be Danish, I just needed to mention mine was!!)
Then, it is important to think about your head and mostly, your ears! Especially if you wear glasses, like me! You wouldn’t want to have to tape those on the sides of your head with duct tape when you travel back home, right?? So a tuque is required… Here’s mine:
We’re almost ready to head out, but there’s still something to take care of. As a blogger, you should never neglect this step. Because you’ll find it really difficult to write about your amazing time in Freezingland in my delicious company, if your fingers have fallen off! Cover those paws of yours! I think you should choose mittens, but I usually wear gloves…
I hope you thought about your Winter coat by yourself… Because, quite frankly, if you get to the airport without one, you’re a lost case! We’ll just stay in and sip on hot chocolate until I have to drive you to take your flight back!
What did I hear in the back? That’s a lot of prep, just to go outside?
Yeah, sure, but you know… It has its upside. I don’t care about selfies when I am ready to fight Mr Frost…
Not sexy? Dang no… But believe me, I’m hot! Mouahahahahahaahaa