When temperature drops below -20 Celcius, you have three choices, in Freezingland.
- Stay in. (most reasonable pick, if you ask me… but hard to take when you have to work to put butter and bread on the table… or anything else you might enjoy eating for that matter)
- Get out as if it was still Autumn outside. (For you people who enjoy complaining about your runny noses, and your sky high fevers…)
- Dress up! (no… not going “chic”… Mother Nature couldn’t care less about little black dresses and high heels. I mean going onion-style!)
For you people, who know Mr Frost personally, this post will be of no interest… But I did invite a couple of bloggers from warmer corners of the world over for Christmas. I’d hate it if they didn’t enjoy their time over just because we had to settle for choice #1, and they’d only see my apartment, while in Montréal.
So if you want to see some of the great sights of the City, you might wanna learn how to armor yourself up to fight Mr Frost’s bite like a true Canadian!
First, you have to protect your Footsies. I recommend smartwool socks… I haven’t found yet how they sort out which wool is smart, and which one is dumb, but the 20$ a pair socks I have proved to be very witty wool, because my toes haven’t frozen yet!
I personally don’t need them, but you might want to consider warm long underpants. I just put leg warmers on my ankles, but your thighs might get jealous. And you don’t want jealous thighs as you are walking downtown!
Of course you’ll need winter boots. Go for a pair with studded soles, unless you want to entertain me gliding your way along the icy sidewalks. I’ll appreciate it if you choose to, and I can even prepare cardboard signs to give you artistic notes… It might mean we’d have to visit a hospital, though, and even if it is free, our health system is a bit overrated. Do you really want to cut on our fun time outside just to try it out? Think about it…
Next we get to the real deal… I personally first put on a neck warmer…
The inside is made of the same stuff as my furry socks. No, not the smartwool ones, the fun fuzzy ones I wear at home!
Then, I add my long, thick scarf… Bought in Copenhagen, last February! (No, yours doesn’t have to be Danish, I just needed to mention mine was!!)
Then, it is important to think about your head and mostly, your ears! Especially if you wear glasses, like me! You wouldn’t want to have to tape those on the sides of your head with duct tape when you travel back home, right?? So a tuque is required… Here’s mine:
We’re almost ready to head out, but there’s still something to take care of. As a blogger, you should never neglect this step. Because you’ll find it really difficult to write about your amazing time in Freezingland in my delicious company, if your fingers have fallen off! Cover those paws of yours! I think you should choose mittens, but I usually wear gloves…
I hope you thought about your Winter coat by yourself… Because, quite frankly, if you get to the airport without one, you’re a lost case! We’ll just stay in and sip on hot chocolate until I have to drive you to take your flight back!
What did I hear in the back? That’s a lot of prep, just to go outside?
Yeah, sure, but you know… It has its upside. I don’t care about selfies when I am ready to fight Mr Frost…
Not sexy? Dang no… But believe me, I’m hot! Mouahahahahahaahaa
Cyranny's Cove 
See! This is the kinda stuff that makes me strongly dislike this winter thing. Layers, muffs, and gloves? Frozen snot, slick as snot, and frost bitten digits? No thanks, man
I much prefer sand, sun, and surf. Bare feet, surfboards, and life-giving warmth.
Is it spring yet? 😞
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I understand… Then again, I lived in Africa for 5 years, and at the end, I’d get chills when the temperature went down to 15 C…. I’d rather have a good reason to freeze LOL (don’t argue… I’m trying to convince myself that I really think that :P)
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Hahaha! I didn’t believe you for a second. 😃
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That’s the most funny post I read so far today, I really enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing. I also may add that here in my country sunny land, Morocco, it’s not freezing but it’s so cold that I postpone shaving my beard every morning because it keeps me warm and my clothes are just a little bit different from yours 🙂 I will take a selfie and send it to you later if you’re curious to know what kind of outfit I wear. Cheers! Stay sage!
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Thank you so much for the kind words, Imad 🙂 I am really glad you enjoyed the humor! I have to make fun of it, otherwise the biting cold would be depressing, LOL!
I have been to Morocco a couple of times, but not nearly long enough to visit it as I would have liked! I would love to get your selfie! That’s a great idea 🙂
The postponed shaving made me smile! Any detail to be more comfortable is a must this time of year, and I totally second your choice to put your razor away for a while 🙂
Have a great weekend!! xx
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Sorry I am using my mobile I mean stay safe and hot * 🙂
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hahahaha no worries… I know how frustrating autocorrect can be! 🙂
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Very funny Cyranny and can be so true all over Canada, except maybe Vancouver. I should t complain in the West we are having a warm winter so far. But I won’t say much on it as I don’t want to jinx it for January. Also, I wanted to add onto your post with some essentials about coats and boots
— There are two kinda of preferred winter Coats the most important being filled with down and goose feathers. Wait until they are on sale at the end of the winter season and purchase a good one, polyester filling does not keep you warm like Down does. Also if your Jacket is waterproof, that’s a plus when is rains sleet. (Snow/rain).
— if you must wear a dressy coat buy one that is mostly wool. Wool is a natural fibre and natural
Fibres Keep you warmer in winter, keeping the heat in and the cold and damp out. Enough wool percentage 50 or more will keep you warm and you’ll avoid your wool coat pilling with a wool blend coat. 100 percent wool coats will keep you very warm but they can be itchy and pill as wool naturally does that. A blend of some kind of wool and polyester of whatever, keeps you warm but your coat stands up better and us less itchy to wear to work or holiday events. A good lining is also important within the coat to keep warm.
— boots – you can go full out winter boots with Ugg’s or indestructible lined rubber but your best bet for keeping warmer is leather. Again, leather is natural it breathes and holds the warm air in and even when it’s very cold and your working up a sweat walking fast, your feet will not sweat in leather boots. However, they will in man-made materials causing your feet to be doubly cold. Bonus if you can find leather that is lined inside the boots with some kind of warm lining – flannel, alpaca, etc.
— Cheapest amdvwarmest mittens are the Hudson Bay stores knitted like Canadian Olympic mittens in size S/M for women and L/XL for men. They are comfy and toasty on there own but also have enough room for you to skip a pair of thinner gloves underneath. They used to be $10.00 but are probably closer to $15.00 now but still the best and cheapest mitts for cold days.
— Also after a week of -30 don’t worry -20 will be Down right balmy :
Cheers
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Wow Mandibelle… this is such a generous comment! Thank you 🙂 Your message would deserve a post of its own! I hope it’ll help out at least one visitor or one person thinking about a trip to our land of snow and ice!
I bought my first goose feathers coat last February, for my trip to Denmark, and I don’t understand how I could live 39 years without having one! You are right, it is a must… And I’ll check out those mittens, because I usually just wear gloves, but I’ll give the Canadian Olympics mittens a try over them for the real cold days…
*big hugs* and thanks again for sharing 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Glad you liked lol. Yes the mittens are worth it and not pricey, especially for snow shovelling or dog walking.
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Oh that was funny! Our high was 52 F. You know we Americans refuse to do metric! I wore my neck warmer to an early morning doctor appointment Monday and an elderly man just stood up and said, Hey, what’s that thing around your neck? I told him it was my neck warmer. He said, Good grief, it’s 63 degrees outside! Hmmph!
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And what’s the coolest the temperature should drop during your winter? 🙂
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You just never know but it doesn’t get below Zero. Some years we have a little snow but not usually.
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Great post! Very funny! And fascinating, too. I will enjoy your cold weather vicariously through you, if you don’t mind. Here in Dallas it was 12 C and sunny. I was running around in just jeans and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Yesterday it was even warmer: 16.5 C. I’m not saying I’d love how cold it gets up your way, but it sure is hard to get in the Christmas spirit when it’s so dang warm!
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That is why I live in Australia. I absolutely hate the cold. During the coldest day we might get 2C really early in the morning . The highest might be 8C. That is cold enough for me. I’d be rugged up in my down 😂
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Hehehehe… Maybe we’re just a little bit masochist for staying here… Maybe we’re a little bit crazy, or maybe it is just the good feeling of getting back to our warm home after walking in the cold streets… But I wouldn’t give up winter 😉
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