Previously published June 20th – Re-posted for Today’s Daily Prompt: Egg
Yes I am.
Just not the type that goes around wearing a tight bodysuit, and fighting vilains after work (I would, but quite frankly, I don’t have enough free time to blog and fight vilains, so… your pick!).
Why the sudden revelation, you might wonder? Well, for some reason, I started the day watching silly infomercials. I enjoy “as seen on tv” videos, because they require just enough brain activity to keep breathing and heart pumping, so it is the ideal entertainment while waiting to fully wake up and get rid of my morning headache.
I was somewhere between “Sticky nips” (fake nipples you stick to your breast to feel, and I quote, “Wow!”) and “Perfect Polly” (a plastic parakeet, for sorry, lonely people too lazy to feed a real bird and/or clean its cage) when it struck me.
All those “OMG there’s gotta be a better way” problems don’t apply to my life. I don’t need an army approved flashlight that can be run over by a pickup truck. I don’t need a cushion to keep my boobs apart while I sleep. And I certainly don’t need a night light for my toilet bowl (even if it comes in 6 great shades!)
But, most obviously, some people do, because I can’t see why they would still sell those products otherwise.
So what does that make me, if not a super hero fighting daily tricky problems the good old way? And you know what, feeling super hero-ish is a pretty nice feeling…
Now, I’ve noticed one particular thing that seems to be a terrible struggle to all of you, non super hero people… Nature’s most intricate puzzle, and, judging by infomercials, a source of constant frustration…. Eggs!
I don’t eat eggs. Ok, calm down and breathe in this paper bag for a minute (I get that panic reaction a lot, don’t worry, I’m used to it.). You could think that it is the reason my life is so simple, not having to crack those complicated things open every once in a while. But the fact is that I do cook them for others from time to time, and I wouldn’t want to brag, but I am pretty much the Queen of “cracking eggs open without making a mess”!
It is obviously one of my (many) super powers, and I feel for the people out there who like their eggs but just can’t deal with them anymore. So, I’ve decided to link in a few solutions to your breakfast nightmare…
They said it… “If you can make toasts, you can make eggs”! If you can’t make toast, write to me in private, I’ll send you a guideline!
As Wendy would say it herself… Voilà!
The magic behind this one is pure science! What are you waiting for?
Now, why would you want to boil your eggs in their natural shell, when you can do it in a plastic one? But if you do insist in boiling eggs “old style” you always have the Eggstractor as seen above… Your choice!
One minute in the microwave to get restaurant-like scrambled eggs! Come on! Even I am tempted….
Forget dangerous and heavy pots of boiling water!
Now, won’t your life be so much easier to deal with?? Yeah… You can thank super me later!