It’s not you, really. How could it be your fault? You’re too good a man for me. Reliable, loyal, always there for me. You hold my heart in your hands, and warm it with your thoughtful words when it is blue. You lift me up above your own ideals, when I feel the need to dream…
You… You’re so damn smart. If I didn’t have this crazy love for you, it’d almost be annoying. You could play Mr Knowitall, yet you keep your amazing knowledge to yourself. You force my endless admiration, and you never patronize me when you feed me your dreamy stories about the other ends of the Earth.
When you leave my sight, I look for you everywhere in the crowd. No one compares to you, and my gaze couldn’t get satisfied caressing any other silhouette. You know how I like to laugh when you point out this or that about your body, that you don’t appreciate. I laugh, wholeheartedly, because the sum of all your so-called flaws adds up to the only man I’d want to see by my side, when I wake up in the morning.
Only your hands know how to make my body sing… I always crave the feeling of your skin against mine, and no other lover could drive me away from your arms. You instinctively know when I want passion, and when I prefer to cuddle tenderly against you. If I could choose to, your lips would be the last thing I’d want to taste when I am about to leave this life.
And that is why I have to go, now. Because eventually things will go wrong one way or another. I’ll fuck things up, and it’ll hurt like Hell. And you’ll leave, and I’ll miss you even more… I can’t let you leave me. I won’t let you.
I might not be all that, but I too have a secret talent.
I’m just too good at goodbyes…
#NovemberNotes2017 – Too Good at Goodbyes * Sam Smith