Blogging · funny · Me myself and I · Montreal · Thoughts

Before I get blown up…



Did I hear someone say that I was exagerating??

As if I was just a drama-neighbour-spying looney…. Ok, you might have a point there, but there’s so much more to me. I promise.

But, yeah, tonight when I pretended to check my balcony garden (by the way, I planted my coriander three weeks ago, and it still doesn’t look like it is about to let itself die.) I did notice something suspicious.

If you look at the above picture, you will notice a darkish line starting at my serial killer neighbours’ pile of junk – which, by the way is getting out of proportions… Over ten bags for two apartments?? COME ON! – and crossing the sidewalk and the street towards our building.

You’d think that’s a shadow, right?

Think again.

My guess is that this is a trail of black powder. And I can imagine a shitload of ACME dynamite, stocked in my landlords’ apartment, waiting to send me straight to Valhalla.

To say that I’ll have difficulty going to sleep tonight is an understatement.

Apparently, I am not the only one worried about the explosion hazard.




Pretty much all of our neighbours are still up, and on a Wednesday night, that’s a rare sight.

Chéri and I noticed that they (too) had an unusually impressive amount of trash out. Ok, Chéri didn’t really get involved in my investigation, but I did connect the dots while he was doing something else.

And I figured that the only way to impose some kind of respect – and hopefully convince our psychopath neighbours not to blow us up to smithereens – was to up our game too.




Ok. Three bags isn’t an incredible threat. But with a little luck, they will think that we started killing squirrels and racoons.

And there only so much we can throw away, even if our lives depend on it….

Let’s hope I wake up tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “Before I get blown up…

  1. I’ve been checking on the neighbours
    And I’m willing to bet
    That they’re capable of posing
    A nuclear threat
    Their nocturnal behaviours
    Have been noted. They’ve been filed
    I don’t know what they’re proposing
    But my suspicions running wild
    They are breaking with tradition
    I don’t know what they’ve got planned
    But it’s reasonable cognition
    To believe it’s underhand
    I am sure that I should do something
    I’ll call the cops I think
    And just because I’m paranoid
    It doesn’t mean I need a shrink.


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