30 Day Writing Challenge · Blogging · challenge · Me myself and I · Sharing · Thoughts

Share something you struggle with…

 

This is a tough one…. (yes, I do realize that this is only Day 2 of this challenge)

Not because I don’t have struggles. I do have my fair share of them. It is the sharing part that I have some trouble with. I’ve always tried to keep the negative in, for as long as I can remember. I had the best proof last weekend, when having an interesting conversation with my bestfriend, I found out that she had never been aware of the bullying I suffered in primary school.

We were in the same classroom and shared the same playground, yet she never noticed that I got mocked and teased everyday. She was one of the cool kids, and I wasn’t. Which probably explained why she didn’t recall her back then friends being so cruel to me. Or maybe it was just that I was already really good at hiding the ugly sides of Life….

I don’t see the point in sharing what really saddens or upsets me. Sharing the negative would only make others sad or upset themselves. Or even worse, it would look like a request for pity.

And the last thing I need is pity.

I’ve tried to really open up a couple of times in my life, with some people who I thought could handle my darker troubled side. I even warned them that it could be too much to take. And apparently, it was…

So, yes… I guess I struggle with trusting people with my darker feelings.

But then again, is it really that bad? Who would want to looked past the limit of what I’m willing to share, and what’s not meant to be seen, unless they’d have an unhealthy curiosity?

 

What about you? What’s one thing you struggle with?

 

To read Marquessa’s thought about today’s subject, click here.

6 thoughts on “Share something you struggle with…

  1. Well, this post has struck another chord with me, as did your previous one. I was bullied in elementary school too. Sometimes it became physical, but it was mostly verbal, which of course is very hurtful too. I can remember fearing the walk home, on days when I was told a beating was in store after school. Luckily, most threats such as this were just talk, but the fear instilled in me was real.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I learnt that some of the people I loved most could not cope with seeing me sad, or hearing my feelings after what happened to me five years ago. I found a handful of people in my life who were of immense value to talk to. my best friend is a psychologist and she could take anything I needed to say. I also have a family member who went through a very traumatic experience over in Tanzania. She had experienced PTSD and was very insightful. I had another friend who had been in Liberia for years and lived through fearful times when there was violent. Friends like that who have been through something traumatic and terrifying were a lifeline for me.

    But some of my closest family and friends…I love them and I trust them, but it was very very hard for them to hear about the range of feelings that I had after I was attacked. In fact I would say they could not bear it.

    I think what I am trying to say is that someone might love you very much, and in many ways you can trust them…but in my own experience I found that not everyone can get their head round what it is to have been through an emotional storm that almost shipwrecked you. But some people will have been through storms of their own and they are prepared to listen. (Although some will listen, others will want to “cure” you, which can be very provoking.)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. it’s a wonder to me how many bloggers have a history of being bullied when young. I was……..by both childhood classmates and my own family members. Ones who write with compassion or humor tend to have a background in which they have undergone some sort of trauma.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing. From all your posts, it is obvious what an awesome person you are. Keeping the darker side to yourself if you can’t trust others is more than fine. But its comforting to have that one person to confide everything to.

    Like

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