The sun was shining bright despite the otherwise greyish November weather. The light had awakened her just minutes before the clock’s irritating alarm. Enjoying one last moment under the warm duvet, she wondered if she had dreamt this whole thing.
Doctor Weinster’s voice resonated in her head, still. But this seemed so real. Of course, it was real, just not her first time, starting this particular day.
Getting up to get her morning routine going, she understood what they had meant by “a bit confusing”… Every step she took, every move she made, she had absolutely no control over. Of course, she had a pretty clear idea of what she’d do all day, but this whole experience felt like what people described as an out of body experience.
This could be handy… She thought, imagining if all people could spend their day thinking about whatever they pleased, while their body did all the work, almost mechanically. She wondered if she’d still feel bored at work, or if she would be able to entertain herself as the hours went by.
The dream-like dizziness wore off slowly, as she sat in the living room, sipping on her mug of black coffee, catching on the latest news on tv. Now she knew exactly what Lotte and Craig felt like in John Malkovich’s head…
Going through the day living a perpetual déjà vu, she wished she could take a nap in the back of her own head. God, her life needed some spicing up! She’d take care of that as soon as she would get control over herself, later tonight.
If she did.
You better know your shit, Doctor Weinster!
Maud spent her afternoon watching her (inner) stress level reach levels she didn’t know possible. What if it didn’t work?? What if it didn’t happen, like a year ago? What if she got stuck riding this shell looking like her, caught on cruise control going down the same slope?
And what if it did work?
She knew it was the right thing to do. She had thought about it almost day and night, for a full month, before calling “Fresh Start”. She had long wondered where, or rather when would be the best moment to do things different, and not end up where she had been, the night before, a year from now.
Walking back home, Maud truly measured how her otherwise trite day was coming close to a crucial turning point in her life. Take your time, girl! We’re in no rush!! She screamed to herself, hoping she would choose to have diner before checking her damn laptop.
If you make the same mistake… There is no refund.
The doctor’s words were crystal clear.
Watching herself throw her winter coat and woolen scarf on the coffee table, she soon found herself, legs stretched on the sofa, ready to start the computer. She could almost make the final countdown.
Logging in, she noticed the pending message right away. In a few seconds, she’d have to make that choice again. Fully aware, this time. Aware of how it’d end up.
I found you!
As soon as she read the message, she felt the connection again. Doctor Weinster had not lied. She felt herself integrating her own body again. And like a year ago, she felt the butterfly flutter in her stomach.
Not quite in control yet, she watched herself typing.
How is this possible?
Maud knew she only had a minute or so, to get a hold before the reply would pop on her screen. She knew what she was about to read, again… And she couldn’t let herself fuck this up. The notification rang.
Santa Claus exists, baby…
To be continued…. This is loosely inspired by a movie I really like, “Eternal sunshine for the spotless minds”. You can also find the first part of the story here.