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Olympic pimping…



If you know me at all, you already know that Olympic Games are not my ”thing”.

I have a profound respect for all the athletes that work their way up the very demanding ladder of sports to attend this elite event. But, I don’t have any real interest in watching professionals compete for medals. Because, let’s face it, if you’re one of the 20 or 30 best people at one specific sport (out of what, 8 billion people on the planet as I type this?), you’ve already proven your point.

You’re good at what you do. I get it.

If I ever were to be recognized as the best Canadian writer, and went to a two weeks long party to meet fellow wordsmiths from all around the world, I’d be more interested in mingling and sharing thoughts than hoping that this Hungarian poet got white page syndrom, as the referee called the starting of our fierce word-knitting duel.

But back to the ”real” Olympic Games…

The premise to this post came from a short video of a Québécois comedian, Simon Gouache. In shorts, Simon suggested an alternative (and much much more fun way, if you ask me) to select Olympic participants. Instead of picking the top athletes of every country, what if the process was totally random?

So, one morning, randomly selected people would be summoned as if they were to be part of a jury in court. But instead, they’d be required to represent their home country in an athletic competition they didn’t get to pick!

Now, that’d be exciting! Right? (unless you’re one of these people, of course)

No more steroid boosted (hum… I meant overly trained) super humans competing. Just people like you and me (and hopefully neither of us), with a two weeks notice to master a sport they most probably never even tried.

Picture it…  A hundred (probably more, I don’t watch the ”real” Olympics) simple Joe Blows getting ready for a 42 km marathon. Get your popcorn and drink, because you wouldn’t be up for a 2 to 3 hours show…. Think two or three days, and that’s if anyone gets to cross the line in the end (Simon’s thoughts… and I still giggle thinking about it).

100 meters hurdles race… Get the Band Aids ready, because it is going to hurt!

Triathlon… Pentathlon, how would anyone be ready for such an event with such short of a notice? I have a feeling the countries would need to offer more than medals to motivate the contestants. A year free of taxes? Two years? Free of taxes until the next Olympic Games (so roughly four years)?

Or maybe change the reward with a threat? Although I don’t like that thought.

And I only mentionned summer competitions… Mind you, winters sports would be even more entertaining! Ohhh sush! I’m not only saying that because I’m coming from Freezingland. Think skeleton… Average people piling up on a simple wooden (or metal, maybe?) rack on skates,  going down a bobsleigh ride. How do you practice for that??

What about skiing? In any way or form. Going down a hill on two wooden sticks is absolutely reckless, if you ask me. Cross country skiing is also very difficult, though a little less intense.

I do respect the Olympic Games as they are, but I’d like them even better if they had that that Hunger Game twist.

Let’s hope. (if I’m not alone with these thoughts).





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