This weekend, a branch was cut from my family tree.
It wasn’t a surprise, but my reaction to it was.
My family isn’t a big one, compared to many here in Quebec. Mom has a brother and two sisters, and Dad has three sisters. Or should I say ”had”. Most of them in their seventies, and having different health issues.
M was Dad’s youngest big sister. Ironically, while their Mom (my grand’ma) had Alzheimer’s disease, M was diagnosed with sclerodermia. As you might know, Alzheimer’s basically destroys your brain though your body is fine. Sclerodermia does the oposite… It is an auto-immune disease that makes the body over produce collagen, and provokes over-scarring of the skin and other organs’ tissues. In shorts, your perfectly councious mind gets trapped in a paralized degradating body.
My earliest memory of M’s condition dates back to 2001, when I used to work as an ambulance dispatcher. I remember that she was then put on the waiting list for lung transplant. I had made plans to help her get transportation to the hospital, whenever she would get THE call.
She never got it.
Her condition worstened over the years, but M kept attending family parties, whenever her health allowed it. Then the pandemic happened. And I didn’t see her for three years.
Fast forward to last Wednesday.
Mom contacted me to say that M would be transfered to a palliative center the next morning. I was tempted to take Friday off and rush to Trois-Rivières. But I wanted to wait to see what would happen during the transfer.
Thursday night, Little Bro (who was already in town for other reasons) texted me a picture on which M looked years younger. And I was foolish enough to think that she was doing so well (given the circumstances) that Friday or Saturday, I would get to see her before the disease took away the best of her.
So I did work as planned on Friday, and hopped on a bus Saturday hoping to make it in time to deliver a few heartfelt words to my dear aunt.
Unfortunately, the palliative center put her on strong morphine doses on Friday, and when I finally showed up, it was too little too late (I might get into the details later… Because I was more angry than sad, but we’ll see how that goes).
Saturday, around 9h30 PM, we got the call.
M was gone.
This morning, we all gathered to walk her out of the palliative home. After mourning her one after the other. I know we all think it was about time she stopped hurting. But the hurt is down on us now.
I’m sorry if my blogging is depressing. Unfortunately, I don’t choose how life goes.
Rest in peace, M!
14 thoughts on “Rest in peace (finally).”
I am sorry for your loss 😥
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Thank you Paula 🙂
I’m so very sorry for your loss 😦
I’m sorry for your loss Cyranny. May she rest in peace
Sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace.
sorry to hear about M Cyranny and that you missed her passing.
My condolences to your family Cyranny. God’s grace and strength in this season. May she rest in peace.
A very moving account.. It is good for you to share.
Rest in peace M
I’m sorry for your loss. 😦
I am sorry for your loss. Prayers for healing comfort.
My sincere condolences. You have put it so well when you said M’s hurt is over, but now the hurt is on those left behind.
So very sorry.
Very sorry for the loss of M. Even when a loved one’s passing is somewhat expected, it always hurts.
So sorry for your loss my friend. Sending you love and big hugs across the miles. 🙏