She hung up and took a deep breath.
Staring at her phone, she tried to to understand what had just happened. His warm voice still resonated in the back of her mind, but his words didn’t make any sense. She was shocked, and not quite sure if it was in a good or a bad way.
I did it… I broke up with her!
That was the only introduction before the long monologue he had served her. She wasn’t that surprised that he had left his girlfriend, knowing that there wasn’t much love left in their couple. To be quite honest, she was glad for him. Anna wasn’t a bad person, but she wasn’t what one would call trustworthy, and she depended on him much more than the opposite.
Apparently, their relationship’s last thread relied on the common will to have a family. And after twelve years of trying, he had long mourned the dream of Anna giving him a child. Therefore, he didn’t see any reason to stay with her.
She didn’t know men’s biological clock could tick so intensely.
Standing up, still shaken, she picked up a few things lying around in the living room. Puffing the cushions, she felt a little guilty. She had hoped at times that this would happen… And now she wished it hadn’t.
They had been friends for years. Close friends, nothing more as he was already dating Anna when they had met. She had tried her best not to have a crush on him, but his deep green eyes had always given her stomach flutters anyway. Had he ever made a move on her, she probably would have surrendered to his charms. But he hadn’t, and she liked that about him. He had been loyal to Anna, even through the roughest parts of their time together.
She wondered if she should take a bottle out of the cellar. Her shaking hands called for a glass of red wine, but she didn’t want to risk going for a second. Not tonight… She needed a clear head.
He has to be kidding…
She said the words aloud, probably to convince herself, but it wasn’t working. She knew that despite his twisted sense of humor, he would never joke about something like that. Still, how could he be serious?
As much as she had fantasized about him at times, she hated how his head overruled his heart. He was so painfully rational. Her straight opposite, and that’s probably one of the many reasons they got along so well, even if they never agreed on anything.
He was definately her Yang.
She walked to her room and checked herself in the mirror. She considered changing clothes, but realized it wouldn’t make a difference now. Any effort to look better would make a statement. She still sprayed herself with her best perfume.
His words played on repeat in her mind.
… single now… I like you a lot… Always have… Let’s give it a try…
Something about making a family of their own. Something about love or whatever love meant to him. She was glad they had that conversation over the phone. She couldn’t imagine how she would have reacted had he told her this in person.
She felt a little dizzy. Maybe opening a bottle wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
Bearing his child meant having sex, unless the rules had changed and she hadn’t gotten the memo. And having sex with him was something she hadn’t allowed herself to dream about. Now she wondered… What would his lips taste like? What would his fingers feel like, running on her bare skin?
She didn’t want to be the best runner up. The logical choice. But would she dare to lose her turn?
She picked her phone, and scrolled through her picture gallery to find one of her last shots of him. God, did he look good!
She suddenly realized she should have felt bad for Anna. But his last words made that impossible.
I’m coming over, you’re home right?
The knock on the front door pulled her out of her reveries.