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Think “airplane”…



Just yesterday, I was exchanging thoughts with the fabulous Trina from It’s Good to Be Crazy Sometimes, about possible jail time (for her, not me. No worries there!), and I had a flash.

It all started with a comment about how jail food was bad. And, being the very positive person that I am, I commented back that it was bad (well, I am guessing, since I never spent time in prison, but I highly doubt that they serve filet mignon and things alike to the inmates) but free.

And from there, my hamster went running wild. Which can be either a very good or very bad thing, depending on days.

I figured prisons should be inspired by the flying industry.

So first, since it is what inspired my theory, the food. It seems unfair to me that the inmated get the bad food for free. When I travel, unless I bring my own nibbling stack with me (which I always do) I am left with the only option of paying a Michelin star restaurant bill for a microwaved mini pizza or a dried out sandwich. Why do we, honest people have to pay for bad food, and not inmates? I say, keep cooking bad food, but charge them for it!

As for room management, I think we should forget these big prison buildings, with a bed for everyone. There should be large rooms filled with plane seats, and the inmate should be allowed to have just a little bag of personal belongings, that should fit in the storing compartment above their head. Add a couple of tiny uncomfortable bathrooms to that, and they’d be all set. Of course, people can’t spend 10 years sitting in a plane seat (I am not that cruel). Every four or five hours, the inmates could be walked to a waiting room filled with straight seats, and nothing interesting to do but walk around and well, just walk around. Sleeping would take place in the plane seats, but of course, if they wanted a blanket or a pillow, there would also be a charge.

When I watch tv shows about prisons, it always amazes me how much drugs get in, no matter how strict prison guards are. On the other hand, flight attendants seem to have smoking under control, so I say we put them in charge of prisons. They can carry a taser gun, just in case. I recognize that inmates are not their usual customers.

I get that some people could get bored after a while (then again, boo-hoo, you should have thought about it before you put a bullet in that guy’s head!). Airlines have solutions for that too! First, after every stay in the waiting room, a security information show could be performed for inmates’ great entertainment! If you have been flyinf before, you know there’s no getting bored of watching flying attendants pretending to blow in a life vest in perfect sync! Magazines should also be provided to everyone, allowing them hours of playing sudoku and shopping for tax free stuff nobody needs. Yes, tax free. I believe in being considerate, even with criminals!

I am sure there would be much more to do, but I think it is a good start.

Running prisons like airplanes would save governments money and space, and that can’t be a bad thing. Plus, I think it would be more of a punishment than what jail time is right now.

I might give the impression that flying is a horrible experience… Not at all. I still can’t wait to fly again! Especially if it is in one of my dear purple planes!!

Oh! And for those of you who would worry about Trina, everything’s good. She’s not going to jail, after all! Pfewww!

17 thoughts on “Think “airplane”…

    1. Thank you so much, Beckie 🙂 Unfortunately, flying is not as much of an experience as it used to be, and that’s too bad. But it does give us stuff to rant and joke about 😛 And I am glad you had a good laugh reading my silly thoughts 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

  1. You have stumbled across one of my pet subjects – because I have spent a lot of time in aeroplanes over the years (a little less so in jail) and I have witnessed the slow deterioration of the experience.

    There was a time when people used to actually look forward to airline food. They looked forward to movies that were shown on screens that were pulled down from a cavity in the ceiling. They looked forward to stopping several times before reaching their destination (and maybe getting to explore some strange exotic land). They looked forward to being exhausted by it all. Because it was an ADVENTURE. And adventures don’t come easy.

    Now days everyone says, “wouldn’t it be great if you could fly from Sydney to London in 2 hours?” To which my reply is, “Why the fuck would you want to do that? What would be the point?”

    You, Cyranny, have a mysterious love of Denmark (which is already fairly close to Canada) and you feel that way because it is ‘different’. I can assure you that the closer they move it to Canada then the less ‘different’ it will start to become.

    And don’t get me started about ‘low cost carriers’ and paying for meals. This is a massive confidence trick. The mantra of the airline is “look, we know this will be bloody awful but just sit there and shut up and we will probably get you there in one piece.” And so they hire poorly trained staff (as few as possible), ensure that there are massive queues at check in, such that you have to arrive 4 hours before a 1 hour flight, give you zero compensation when a flight is cancelled and so on. Then they charge you (exorbitant) additional fees if you actually want to load a bag in the hold, sit by a window, make a minor change to your travel plans or actually eat or drink something. In the end you end up paying as much as you would have by buying a seat on a full service airline in the first place.

    America leads the charge in this regard (I’m not sure about Canada) where every airline has adapted the low-cost model. I travelled from Phoenix to Dallas recently with American Airlines in ‘First Class’ where the inflight catering consisted of a beer and a packet of peanuts.

    As I say, don’t get me started.

    In prison, on the other hand, the journey does tend to be a bit TOO long, the food (free food!) can become somewhat repetitious and you end up at exactly the same where you started from. There is less chance of being gang raped on an aeroplane than in prison, I suppose. So far.

    Apart from that, though, it’s hard to tell the difference.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why did I have a feeling this would speak to you? I must admit I didn’t expect such an extended comment, and I was very pleasantly surprised when I read it 🙂 I am in a bit of a rush at the moment, but I definately will come back to you for a longer reply, as I have some memories to share…

      I have to say, the “lesser chances of getting gang raped” mention made me burst out in laughter, and I realized I hadn’t thought about that side of jail time, while writing this silly post! Great point!! (well probably not that great for those who experience it… but you know what I mean!)


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