Just yesterday, I was exchanging thoughts with the fabulous Trina from It’s Good to Be Crazy Sometimes, about possible jail time (for her, not me. No worries there!), and I had a flash.
It all started with a comment about how jail food was bad. And, being the very positive person that I am, I commented back that it was bad (well, I am guessing, since I never spent time in prison, but I highly doubt that they serve filet mignon and things alike to the inmates) but free.
And from there, my hamster went running wild. Which can be either a very good or very bad thing, depending on days.
I figured prisons should be inspired by the flying industry.
So first, since it is what inspired my theory, the food. It seems unfair to me that the inmated get the bad food for free. When I travel, unless I bring my own nibbling stack with me (which I always do) I am left with the only option of paying a Michelin star restaurant bill for a microwaved mini pizza or a dried out sandwich. Why do we, honest people have to pay for bad food, and not inmates? I say, keep cooking bad food, but charge them for it!
As for room management, I think we should forget these big prison buildings, with a bed for everyone. There should be large rooms filled with plane seats, and the inmate should be allowed to have just a little bag of personal belongings, that should fit in the storing compartment above their head. Add a couple of tiny uncomfortable bathrooms to that, and they’d be all set. Of course, people can’t spend 10 years sitting in a plane seat (I am not that cruel). Every four or five hours, the inmates could be walked to a waiting room filled with straight seats, and nothing interesting to do but walk around and well, just walk around. Sleeping would take place in the plane seats, but of course, if they wanted a blanket or a pillow, there would also be a charge.
When I watch tv shows about prisons, it always amazes me how much drugs get in, no matter how strict prison guards are. On the other hand, flight attendants seem to have smoking under control, so I say we put them in charge of prisons. They can carry a taser gun, just in case. I recognize that inmates are not their usual customers.
I get that some people could get bored after a while (then again, boo-hoo, you should have thought about it before you put a bullet in that guy’s head!). Airlines have solutions for that too! First, after every stay in the waiting room, a security information show could be performed for inmates’ great entertainment! If you have been flyinf before, you know there’s no getting bored of watching flying attendants pretending to blow in a life vest in perfect sync! Magazines should also be provided to everyone, allowing them hours of playing sudoku and shopping for tax free stuff nobody needs. Yes, tax free. I believe in being considerate, even with criminals!
I am sure there would be much more to do, but I think it is a good start.
Running prisons like airplanes would save governments money and space, and that can’t be a bad thing. Plus, I think it would be more of a punishment than what jail time is right now.
I might give the impression that flying is a horrible experience… Not at all. I still can’t wait to fly again! Especially if it is in one of my dear purple planes!!
Oh! And for those of you who would worry about Trina, everything’s good. She’s not going to jail, after all! Pfewww!