One of the things she liked the best about her new reclused life, was her midday bathing ceremony.
Before, lunchtime was just that. Time for lunch. A biologically imposed pause in the chaos of society. People had to eat. Everyone stopped for a brief moment, stuffed themselves with bland food, and rushed back to work.
Soaked to her neck in the bath tub, the tip of her fingers tapped on the water’s surface, creating circular waves. At noon, the sun was high, and filled the room through the skylight. She liked the darkness of pitch black night, but for some reason, she also loved this time of day, when there was no shadow to be found in her bathroom. Perhaps, what she enjoyed about both was that in one case, people slept, and in the other, people were away. Maybe it was the silence of her building that was so appealing…
She raised a leg above the water, and scrubbed it gently with her lufa brush.
She had read somewhere that it took four to six weeks for the human body to generate a brand new skin. That meant that not one spot that Monster had touched, existed anymore. Still, she rubbed and scrubbed, just to be sure.
At first, she had hated herself for what had happened that night. She was lonely, she was needy, and she had driven to that bar, late in the night.
She knew him, who didn’t, in town? He had spotted her at the counter, and had offered her company. Had she known what that’d mean, she would have pretended to be waiting for someone else. But how could she have had suspicion, that the man with a prestine reputation was a cunt hunter?
She squeezed more lavender scented liquid soap, and started spreading it on her arms and breasts. Even the touch of her own hands on her skin felt kind of dirty. She didn’t hate herself anymore, but she couldn’t get rid of this disgusted feeling of skin on skin. It was a reflex, she couldn’t control it…
She thought about Kane.
She knew he would never force himself on a woman like the Monster had. But then again, she had never thought that about him either.
She longed for Kane’s touch, and she feared it, all at once. If she ever let him in, and tried to cuddle in his arms, would she feel repelled? That thought terrified her. If she couldn’t trust him, who would she ever trust?
She closed her eyes and plunged her head underwater. She noticed how she enjoyed the feeling of the warm running water on her face and shoulders, as she sat back up. It was a beginning. Maybe, just maybe, that bastard wouldn’t win in the end.