Gather around, Lovelies, because I am going to do something very unusual today…. I am going to be serious!
(ok, close your mouth… I’m not that shallow)
Our brains are weird little things (ok, mine might be a little weirder than average, but that’s not the point… I am supposed to be serious, remember??) They can be taught to do amazing things. And given the right genes, and reasonable exercise, they are pretty awesome in general…
But!… (there is always a but)
Sometimes, brains can be incredibly dumb. I mean seriously dumb… Not-capable-of-using-a-toaster-without-burning-half-the-kitchen dumb! And you all know by now that it is a very high level of “stupid”.
And your brain is that stupid, sometimes, and so is mine. They just can’t help it. Now, I am no scientist, and I know bloggers that write very intelligent posts about psychology, based on actual studies and all… There is absolutely nothing scientific coming here… I am just talking from experience.
So… I once read an interesting paper (really really summing up, here) that said that our brains listen. Ok, I guess we all expected that part, right? But the fact is that our sometimes dumb brains listen and take as truths stuff without considering the intention behind it.
Starting to lose you, here? Let me explain myself.
Let’s say someone you work with starts telling you that you suck at your job. (Totally random pick for an example…Not!) It is a joke, you know it is… And your brain knows too. But after a couple of times, when the comments are an established running gag, your brain starts to wonder.
Do I suck?
Now, if you stop and think about it, you can, conciously, realize that you and your brain don’t really suck, and that the person telling you you do, doesn’t really mean it. But your brain then goes behind your back and wonders…
Do I suck? He told me I suck… Many times… I must suck in some way!
And we all know that our brain runs pretty much everything we don’t consciously control about our lives. He takes care of all the “making your heart beat”, and “keeping lungs pumping air” stuff, leaving you more time for online gaming and wondering what to eat for dinner.
And one day, this co-worker comes into your office and tells you how you suck, with the same smirk, and you notice something different. And because you didn’t take time to sit down with your (sometimes) dumb brain each and everytime, said colleague told you you sucked, you realize it went behind your back, and sent a memo to your heart.
Sorry to inform, but we officially suck!
Short and sweet (well not so much) and since your heart doesn’t listen to you, you’re in trouble! Because hearts are stubborn organs! You might talk them out of something, but never without endless hours of arguying.
See, I even got the memo! “We officially suck!” And it comes from your brain, and we all know the Brain is intelligent!
Personally, I just don’t put too much of a fight, and avoid bringing up the subject, until my heart forgets.
Ok. I realize I’ve probably lost a lot of you along the way, haven’t I?
Let me try to wrap it up more clearly… When you get told something that puts you down over and over again, even if it is a joke, and you dang well know it isn’t true, there is a good chance your brain is going to buy it. Wether you want it or not.
The good side of this (confusing, I give it to you) story, is that the contrary is also true. Good comments, even if you don’t truly believe them at first, will make their way through your brain, and you’ll come to believe what you’re being told a little more each time the compliment comes to your ears…
And it’s been proven (at least that’s what I read, and experienced), that your silly brain also listens… to you! That’s right! Not only do you uncounciously take into account what others say about you, good or bad… But you also react to your own verbalization about your own self.
Try it. It is simple, though not easy. And it is not an overnight process.
You can’t keep people from saying mean things, but you can try to stay away from them. And you certainly can take a few minutes a day to say aloud things you like about yourself.
And, of course, you can be careful about what you tell people around you. Because, you know, the others have dumb brains too! 😉