If WordPress has taught me one thing, it is to be more selfish.
It actually is a good thing. Before blogging, I used to write mostly to please others. I did write a little bit for my own, mainly poetry, but otherwise, I needed others’ validation to think what I was writing was worth anything at all.
Then, I moved to slam. I joined a group that performed monthly slam sessions in a bar near my appartment in Trois-Rivières. Surprisingly, even as a newbie, I was welcome with open arms, and the notorious slammers I admired got interested in my work. I ended up uncounciously writing to get their approval.
After a while, it became stressful to come up with pieces that would please the audience, every four weeks. I did it for a couple of months, and I finally gave up because stagefright was sucking the fun out of the process.
Later on, when I started writing again, it was to amuse a friend of mine. Looking back, I don’t regret doing it. It started with a challenge, to write her a story based on an anecdote she had shared with me. I wrote a couple of pages every other day, and with her constant encouragements, I ended up with a near 400 pages long novel just in time for Christmas.
But I was aware that without her daily approval, I probably would have given up in the process.
It was the same friend who told me I should try out blogging. I really didn’t know anything about it back then, but she was such a cheerleader… I created the Cove and started the blabbering.
I only told a few people around me about the Cove. Those I invited in soon stopped reading me. The same people who had told me to go ahead and do something more with my words, didn’t read me… That was a bit confusing.
And that’s when I learned to be more selfish.
Some of you will probably agree that for some people, writing is like a drug. I am highly addicted to it (lol). I need my dose everyday, otherwise my finger itch and my brain keeps reminding me about the existence of my keyboard.
So I decided to keep on going, with the support of a couple of blogging-friends. I decided that writing was something I’d do for me first.
It might look simple, but at first, it was a bit tricky. I remember having to chase thoughts like “what would get me readings?” out of my mind. Those thoughts still tickle me every now and then, but I have learned to write when and what I want.
And I am pretty dang happy with the outcome.
Because the Cove might not be a 100 000 readers empire, but it is very alive. Hey! Some days, I have trouble finding time to answer all the messages that pop in my inbox, isn’t that a great problem to have? 🙂
As I told Chéri yesterday night, my readers are not a legion, but they are good readers. I know it, and I appreciate it. Really.
So I’ll keep writing. For me first… But with a little thought for all of you too 😉
2 thoughts on “Me, myself and I…”
I’m glad you stopped writing to please others, you shouldn’t have to think about that. As long as what you write comes from the heart people will love it and if they don’t then they aren’t worth your time.
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