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Yoga, anyone?


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Today I was listening to someone who was talking about practicing ”yoga chaud”.

I had heard about it several times before, but only today did my brain connect the dots, the way it loves doing it.

See, ”Yoga chaud” (in French, of course), can translate into two very different disciplines; hot yoga and drunk yoga. I knew about the first one. And we’ll get to the alternative later…

If you’ve practived yoga at some point in your life, you know that it is much more difficult than it looks. It is quite possibly the most passive aggressive sport there is. You just suffer in silence, discovering muscles you ignored you had, to begin with. It is a great training, though. It requires very little equipment, you can try it no matter how unflexible you think you may be. And it is free, unless you decide to follow a charismatic yogi that charges you to be part of their health-seeking cult.

But I digress.

I might be wrong, but it seems to me that the main point of yoga is to be in a constant uncomfortable (if not just painful) state. And I don’t believe the people who claim that they enjoy meditating with their limbs in positions that defy reality (and sometimes gravity). I just think that their very high yoga level on the ladder of agony forces their mind to go to its happy place.

Another proof that yoga is not meant to be comfortable, is that once real enthusiastics master the art of ”just yoga”, they seem to seek variations that will make sure they will not enjoy their bi-weekly session.

Hot yoga is a good example of that. Not only do you get to stretch in ways Gumby would have thought impossible, but you do it in an extremely hot room. You also have the opposite… Snow yoga. I don’t know for you, but I like snow (and coldness in general) when it is on the opposite side of a window. So getting out in leggings, and holding the French croissant pose? Nahhh!

A little less intense, but scoring higher on the weird-scale, comes goat yoga. You try to go through your usual routine, while little goats roam around, and occasionally jump on you. I’m pretty sure these tiny hooves make the workout all that much more enjoyable… NOT!

There’s also naked yoga. Good for you if you are not too self-councious, and don’t worry wearing your birthday suit in the middle of a group of strangers. I just couldn’t do it. Let alone focusing on sticking my naked butt in the air, standing on all fours. Really, yoga people??

I really thought that there should be a funnier alternative, for not so athletic people like me.

Bringing me back to the beginning of this post.

Drunk yoga. That seemed like a good idea to me. For one thing, getting tipsy gives most people more self-confidence. Anything’s possible when alcohol kicks in. It also numbs the pain (that doesn’t cover the next-morning body aches, but let’s not care about that). And I have a feeling it would result in much chattier yoga sessions…

And you know what? It does exist. Who would’ve thought?? Wether you prefer wine or beer, there are groups out there waiting for you. Enjoy a couple of drinks while checking if you can stretch your feet behind your head. I bet there are much good giggles involved.

Where can I sign in? (I might regret this in the morning)

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4 thoughts on “Yoga, anyone?

  1. I am planning my own yoga school where we will practice ‘freestyle yoga’ or ‘fristil yoga’ to use the Swedish term that doesn’t actually exist. There will be no strict rules, although nudity and drunkenness will most certainly be encouraged. All goats will be welcomed, as well as any other playful wildlife. I am thinking that (especially if the nudity and goats thing really takes off) that a reality TV show is in the making.

    Liked by 2 people

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