Now that I have your attention…
As you might know, Chéri and I have been feeding the birds for almost two years now.
This means regularly shopping for bird food online, looking for the best deals out there. At this time of the year, we make sure that we don’t run out of suet, because of the extra energy the fat provides, for our little feathery friends.
Chéri sent me the above offer, found on Walmart’s website today.
Yes, you’ve read well… Two suet balls, for the affordable price of 999,99$! Two large balls, though (I should hope so!). My first thought was that it could be convenient… We could hang one of the (large) balls over both our front and back balconies. And if the balls were big enough, we wouldn’t have to worry about replacing them for weeks, if not months! Great!!
Still, the idea of signing in for a 6 months payment plan for bird food seemed a little extreme. I do love Mr and Mrs Cardinal, the Blue Jays brothers and Woody the Woodpecker… But geez. We have to feed Freja too, you know? Not mentionning ourselves.
I wondered what could make these balls so dang expensive. Could they be encrusted with diamonds and gold nuggets? That would look very pretty, but I doubt it would be a good idea, to trust birds with not swallowing said ornements, in between bites of suet. And, in my opinion, any pet food company would probably make sure not to make animals sick, no matter how fancy they wanted their balls to be.
So, despite my strong dislike for mathematics, I took out my calculator.
The suet blocks we usually buy weigh 300g a piece. We get 10 of these for about 15$, which means, about 5$ a kilogram. Logically, Walmart’s (large) balls should at least weigh a hundred kilos each. So, roughly, 220 pounds.
How big would that be? I just can’t figure.
They really don’t look that large on the picture, wouldn’t you say? Unless, they put giant sunflower seeds in them. I’m getting confused… Walmart, why are you doing to me??
Finally, I’ve settled things down.
Unless Mads Mikkelsen delivers the (large) balls in person, I’m not giving Walmart my credit card number.
No. Just no.