Blogging · funny · Mads Mikkelsen · Me myself and I · Opinion · Thoughts

Hot! Hot! Hot!

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Not mine… Mind you. 

As much as I like you all, Lovelies, we’ll never be that close. 

But today, Chéri sent me the link to a piece of news that happened in UK recently. He often does that when he finds out odd stories that might inspire me. And I totally agreed that this deserved a couple of lines in the Bloggosphere.

First, you have to know that Gwyneth Paltrow sells the seen above candles for the modest price of 75 US$. That alone is beyond me. Why on earth would any woman want to merchandise their vagina’s odor? I would really have wanted to be able to attend the meeting when they established the target customer’s profile for this! The stalking kind of fans? People who’ll buy the oddest of things? Or just, sexually obsessed people in general???

I cannot think of one occasion when burning such a candle would be tasteful. (If you know one, please share it in the comments, I really want to give Gwyneth the benefit of the doubt)

And I have trouble believing that the actress needed the cash. Although, this had to do with making cash. Because, honestly what woman would let people smell her crouch, probably take ”samples” of said smell, and recreate it? And who would want what’s most intimate about themselves, to be diffused in total strangers’ living rooms? Or worse, in the homes of people they know?

No… It had to be for the cash. Otherwise, I am worried about Miss Paltrow’s mental health.

How incredibly narcissistic must one be, to think that people will want to create a nice, sexy ambiance by making their homes smell like their vagina (or penis, I don’t want to be sexist, here)?

Oh well. 

The actual news I was talking about, at the beginning of this post, happened in North London, UK. A woman had won one of the This Smells Like My Vagina candles through an online quizz. The lady lit the candle, and a 50 centimeters high flame shot from the glass jar. Not long after, the whole thing exploded, and bits and pieces flew everywhere in the woman’s living room, creating what was reported as an inferno.

The couple managed to control the fire, and threw what was left of the candle out of the house’s front door.

The woman told the journalist that “It could have burned the place down. It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s vagina candle exploded in my living room.”

Funny? I have to bow down before British humor… I don’t think I would find it ”funny” if I had to renovate my living room, because of Gwyneth’s genitals! Or any other star’s for that matter.

Okay, I heard you in the back of the room… What about Mads’? Well, I don’t even have to wonder because Mr Mikkelsen has way too much class to even consider following Gwyneth Paltrow’s steps.

Oh Mads… 

*Sigh* 

 

 

19 thoughts on “Hot! Hot! Hot!

  1. Is it some sort of feline power thing? Ms Paltrow marking her territory by way of stealth?
    I am inspired to market a Brutus Richmond alarm clock app called ‘this sounds like my snoring’. Guaranteed to get you out of bed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mouahahahahahaha, I think you’ve put your finger on it! I am glad that there is no chance I’ll end up in any living room ”marked” as Miss Paltrow’s territory, anytime soon (thank you, lockdown). And I hope they’ll stop selling the candles before we get to be allowed to see our friends and families again 😛 Keep that alarm clock idea… It might be more popular than you’d think 😉

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  2. Actually, I have known women whose vaginas, especially when the owners of said vaginas were in a state of arousal, gave off a rather distinct aroma that I found to be quite enticing. That said, I have no personal experience with Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina…I mean candle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL I have no doubt that the pheromone-filled smell is appealing, but I still think it is a bit presomptuous to think that one woman’s scent could take over the world 😉 Thank you for sharing your (candle) experience, Mouahahahahaha

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed, Simon 😉 I give UK the first price in the ”Funniest story of the week” category! I sure hope that they get rid of the smell of the candle AND burnt curtains soon LOL

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    1. LOOOOOOOL Oh yeah… Maybe she wanted to get back at the world because of that annoying (”intimate”) burning feeling. I won’t take any chance, I won’t light up one of these candles, even if I get is as a gift. For my furniture’s sake, and to make sure Chéri doesn’t decide to switch his interrest, vagina-wise 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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