30 Day Writing Challenge · Blogging · challenge · Me myself and I · Thoughts

A lesson I learnt the hard way…



Some men are total jerks…

This may sound like an evidence to some of you, but to my defense, I used to be a very naive younger-me, that thought that there was a good side to all people, if you knew where to look.

I understood that there were total assholes out there, one particular evening.

But let’s rewind a little farther back in time, first.

In my early early twenties, just like most young adults, I was seeking companionship pretty intensely. Not desperately, mind you, but still. I used The Internets a lot to get in touch with people, and I did make a number of chance encounters that way.

But it never ”clicked”.

I wasn’t the pretty girl kind, I knew it, but I hoped (some) men could get over it. Yes, I was morbidly obese, and not the cutest around… But I thought I had so much more to offer, that I always remained honest about my looks, and I kept looking around.

Until I met this guy… Let’s call him Dumbass (affectionnately). Dumbass and I spent quite some time chatting online. He was (from his pictures) a very handsome Asian guy, and we had a lot of fun exchanging online. He didn’t seem to mind my size at all, which seemed like a good sign.

With hormones kicking in, after a while, we both felt like taking our ”relationship” a step forward. He lived in Montréal, about an hour an a half away from home, which wasn’t too bad. We agreed to meet one evening, after one of his hockey games (yes, he was a goaler, I -oops- forgot to mention that).

I groomed up, and drove to the arena where Dumbass was playing (little footnote: back then, I had absolutely NO interest in hockey). I patiently waited for the end of the game, and went to the main entry to meet at long last.

I waited and waited. People all walked out until the arena’s janitor locked the door.

And that’s when I spotted Dumbass’ Audi getting ready to leave the place. I raced, as fast as I could to my less than impressive Ford Escort, and managed to pull beside him at the street lights. I waved, but for some reason, he didn’t seem to notice me.

I followed Dumbass for a while, until we got on the highway. At that moment, he obviously tried to outrun me.

I finally understood. He had seen me… Decided he wasn’t interested afterall, and had decided to sneak away. But Dumbass didn’t know me all that well. I am a skilled driver, and managed to follow him, until he tried to get off of the highway, and blend into a nearby neighbourhood. When I found his car, parked on the side of the road, I pulled in, right next to it… Making it impossible for him to drive away.

Trapped, he had to face me after this absurd chase. When I walked to his door, I caught him reaching for a baseball bat, on his backseat.

Up to this point, I was considering the benefit of a doubt.

But clearly seeing the bat in his hand, I had an epiphany… He was just an asshole. Period.

I was just an overweight girl, easy to runaway from, and he was an athletic man. What could he fear??

I could be bitter. I am not. There are great men out in the world, but believe me… I stay away from Dumbasses.



What about you? What’s a lesson you learnt the hard way? If you’d like to read about Marquessa’s thoughts about this, click here.


14 thoughts on “A lesson I learnt the hard way…

  1. I didn’t want to “like” this post because that guy was much more than a Dumbass. I rarely swear but there a number of OTHER words to describe him. What a Loser but we learn from them, don’t we? Not a real man anyways…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. He definately wasn’t a real man… I hope he changed over the years (but I doubt it). I did learn my lesson that night, and I hope he learnt that acting like an asshole could sometimes backfire. LOL L.O.S.E.R!


  2. What a rude jerk. Thank God you didn’t spend time with him! I also met a lot of horrible men from dating sites and now won’t use them at all even though I never meet anyone new in “real life.” Took me a while and some very unpleasant moments to realize those sites are not for me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I never really tried dating sites… But I can see that jerks can be found everywhere online 😉 I used general chat rooms, and what’s funny is that after the above “events”, he went back to the channels where we had “met”, to tell the regulars how crazy I had been, for chasing him around town…. Not knowing that many of them were “real life” friends of mine, who knew why I had chased him, and how much of a loser he was LOL

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish it were fiction. But it really happened just as described.

      I must say, I didn’t even get scared when I saw the baseball bat in his hand. I think when he realized that he had his back to the wall, he panicked. I hope he really got scared… It might have saved other girls a bad surprise, later on…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am sorry to hear that there are idiots out there who haven’t yet learnt how to be respectful to others. It would have been better for him to level with you, rather than sneaking off. We can hope that your actions led to an epiphany of sorts for him and that he treated others with more decency from then on. You are a brave girl! Well done!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s a harsh thing to do to anyone, I think you’re being too polite. I think I’ve learned over the years that many if not most people are not nice and would drop you in a moment if it suited them

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Way too many of them, sadly. You are right, Simon. But this was an olympic-level asshole, and I am glad I don’t even remember his name. Good riddance!! 😉


  4. What an effen jerk that guy was. It’s good that you didn’t date him. A hard lesson..hmmm. I think that it has to be this one ‘beauty queen’ that I was infatuated with in my mid 20’s. She really was beautiful, but it was all superficial. Inside, she was ugly. I put up with so much, even at the expense of my self respect. My lesson is that the beauty of a person goes far beyond what the eyes can see.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I totally agree Rob, and although to some people it might seem like a lot of work, having to get to know people before you decide wether they really are beautiful or not. I think it makes Life far more interesting. Because at all moments, you could be sitting next to a hidden gem, not even knowing it….

      Liked by 1 person

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