Some people have no filter. I mean, really, no filter. I hate being alone with a person like that, because I am too polite to say I have reached my limit conversation-wise.
You probably guessed I had one of those “please-let-me-just-go-hiding-in-my-happy-place” moments lately. Because you Lovelies are smart people, and you read me like a book! Well, yes I have, and that person would be a serious candidate for a gold medal at the Uneasiness Olympics.
I would’t have been comfortable having this chat with anybody. But just to set things straight and give you an idea of how very unpleasant the experience was, I was minding my own business, spending my evening at the office with the new girl in our department. She is a lesbian, which wouldn’t change a thing, if the conversation hadn’t taken this turn, without the slighest notice…
Her: I had an appointment at my doctor’s this morning…
Me: Hmmm?
Her: Yeah… I had to get a Pap test, you know?
At this point, the red flag was already flying high, and I hoped the phone would ring, thus ending the just starting chat.
Her: (obviously not understanding that gynecology exams are not my favorite talking topic, especially at work) Yeah, she’s weird!
Me: …. (hesitation to encourage more details) Oh. Is that so?
Her: Yes, she told me she figured my girlfriend and I were a couple…
(How odd… they go to all the childrens’ appointments together, and don’t seem to make any effort not to look like a couple… Really, shocking coming from this doctor!!)
Her: (notice that I didn’t add anything) She wanted to k now if we had sex!
Me: (Keeping eye contact, but praying for the dang phone to ring!)…
Her: I couldn’t lie to her… Of course we do. And she started asking if we used sex toys!
Me: (RING DANG PHONE…. RIIIIIING!) …..
Her: This was very embarassing you know… But I had to tell her about our strap on!
Me: (WHUUUUUTT?? Ok, God if you exist, please do something… an earthquake, something! Stop her!!!!!) …
At this point, I figured it was best not to express any surprise, since it might be perceived as interest or questionning… Which would certainly result in more details… But apparently, details were on the way anyhow.
Her: I had to explain to her what our dildos were made of, and how we used them, and how the strap on worked… and you know…
Now, I just blacked out. I know she told me who wore the dang thing, but I sincerely have no memory. For real! My brain decided “this is where I press the stop recording button!”
Thanks, brain! You’re quite a buddy!
Little did I know the best part was still to come.
Her: I was soooooooooo embarassed!
Me: (getting back to my senses) I can imagine… Then again, it is less embarassing then telling all of that to someone you barely know, right??
Her: Oh yeah… You’re right, that’d be awefull!
Me: …..
The end.
P.S. I wish I had invented this story. I soooooooo wish.
Cyranny's Cove 
next time, just put your hand out palm up and keep looking down at the desk. She will shut up and go away. You poor dear.
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I really wonder how much you have to be lacking attention at home to feel the need to deliver this kind of information at work… Poor her. lol
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I would’ve gotten my cell and called the office out of my purse lol
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OMG what a great idea!! I’ll keep it in mind in case she decides to share some more 😛
Thanks for the tip hahaha!
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Yep anytime. I love giving tips!
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Wow. I have no words for this. 😂 She has gall to talk about her sex life that’s for sure.
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Try being an Emergency Medical Technician for just one day. You will hear it all and unfortunately you will not have the luxury of having a distraction from the conversation.
I lasted 17 years. Still don’t know how.
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Wow… I can only imagine!! I worked as a paramedic dispatcher, taking 911 calls… And I heard a lot of memorable stories… I am guessing being face to face with the patients must be extra weird in those situations!!
17 years… Wow, I’m impressed 🙂
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Hilarious, laughing out loud when you’re alone at night, could be perceived as, oh well. Loved this!!
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I don’t know how I managed not to giggle the whole way through!! I think the astonishement was a strong antidote to the urge to laugh!! LOL xx
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It’s funny when someone says something that totally stuns you….on the other hand, kids do it with ease!
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It is a talent we tend to lose over the years… But “she” sure didn’t!! LOL
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😂
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Oh dear. Lol I’m sorry I can’t help but laugh. I agree with Suze.
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I feel the need to apologise in advance for this but….
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Thats just funny and made me laught out loud on a dreary friday morning
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LOL no need for appologies… Sometimes, life is just so aburd, it would be a shame not to get a good laugh out of it! 🙂
Have a great Friday!! xx
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It definetly made me laugh, i have been in similar situations some people just dont have a filter
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Oh wow. Some things are best left unsaid, and that really isn’t a story she should have brought up, but the situation was pretty funny I must admit!
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We have a saying in French: “Toute vérité est bonne à dire” meaning “Any truth is worth saying”…
I don’t agree. LOL
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I would have stopped her at “I had to get a Pap Smear”.
Me. “That’s a very personal thing and would rather not hear about it.”
If she had the audacity to tell you, you are allowed to have the audacity
to stop her in her tracks. Try it sometime, it works. ☺☺☺
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I really should have! But I learned today that she had had the same conversation with other colleagues since. I guess I was just her rehearsal… LOL
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I hope she doesn’t make it to center stage. ☺☺☺
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LOOOL *fingers crossed* that she doesn’t!
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And she was probably quite disappointed with my (lack of) reaction 😛
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