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Letting go…

Cyranny

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Twelve years…

We should have celebrated twelve years of you making me an honest woman… Should have, could have… But haven’t.

You weren’t my first love, but you were the one. You could have been. We’ll never know now, will we?

We were so close to that turning point in our lives. Had you waited one more day to call it off, you probably would have killed me. It took me every ounce of energy, every tiny bit of will to live, to get through your departure.

You loved me until the end. So did I. You didn’t leave me out of a lack of love and that’s what caused the soul ripping pain I suffered for weeks, months, hell… I mourned our love for years!

You promised me someday I’d be ok. I didn’t want to beleive you. But your happiness was more dear to my heart than my very life, and like a bird, I let you fly away…

I kept my name. I kept my personal goals. I kept my dreams… And a tear at a time, I let the wound you left in my chest heal until I just had a scar across the heart.

I’ve loved again. I still do. Never the same way though. I doubt true love, and forever love… Not that I don’t beleive in it anymore, the princess in me wants it to be possible. But I am not able yet to swear my feelings are stronger than time.

But you were right. I am ok now… I don’t search for you anymore… I don’t wonder where you are, and what you’re doing, and with who. You left your mark, but your leave-taking didn’t break me…

 

Twelve years…

I’ve never taken your engagement ring off. I had to change and put it on my middle finger because I lost weight down the road… And now it is loose. It seems to be telling me it is time to part for good. I could have it taken down a size in a jewelry store, but I don’t see the point.

Twelve years… I’ve kept my name, kept my goals, kept my dreams… and I am ok!

 

 

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by  Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and Rosema from A Reading Writer .❤

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25 thoughts on “Letting go…”

    1. Thank you Robin 🙂 I hadn’t counted the years in a long time, when I did yesterday for this post… Time does fly by, and the wisdom of years past hopefully make any pain lessen.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the story 🙂

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    1. *hugs* Mack 🙂 Yeah, life challenges all of us in different ways… That was a rough (to say the least) part of my journey. But it is part of who I am now, and I’d rather keep the good memories than have the whole story erased from my mind 🙂

      Happy Thursday, Sunshine! xx

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  9. I just seen this on your twitter and my god I just want to hug you right now.
    You know I know your pain as well I know how it feels although I’ve only been dealing with it for a couple of years.
    You are so strong to have gone through that and still be standing like you are now. I have so much respect for you and just want to give you the biggest hug right now.

    If you want to ever talk about it you know where I am

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    1. Colin, dear Colin… Thank you so much for your kind words and your support.

      Put the baby down now… (for her sake) *Big hug time!!*

      You kow… I do consider this to be one of the most horrible pains I had to overcome in my life. Losing the perfect love of someone because you took it for granted hurts, but having appreciated it all the way, knowing how lucky you are, and losing that counciously is hell.

      A maze of pain you have to find your way out of, one tear at a time…

      And you know what? I’d re-live it all if I could… The love we had was worth it all.

      Sorry for taking time to answer to this 😉 xx

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