People who compliment me and people who belittle me. A person who tells me I’m pretty/smart/whatever, even if I know they are being completely genuine, makes me feel like they want something or worse, I doubt their genuineness. People who try to cut me down based on things I know to be false make me uncomfortable because they are clearly trying to get something and are being disingenuous to both of us (questioning my knowledge or understanding in something I know I know about in an attempt to make me doubt myself rather than listen to what I offer). People who do both at the same time make my skin crawl. “You have done so much and it’s so impressive, but you don’t really know what you’re talking about. You just had a ten year lucky streak based on what clearly is guess work and not actual research and knowledge.”
To me, the last is a perfect example of disingenuous. Don’t give me a bogus compliment you clearly don’t mean in the slightest and follow it with trying to cut me down by making up nonsense in an attempt to make me back down without actually providing substance to your “facts.”
I had a doctor for my mother in ICU tell me that he was impressed with how much information I had on her, how it was organized and the fact I had it all committed to memory and could pull it at whim. There wasn’t a word any doctor ever uttered that I didn’t have, cross checked and researched to the max. He was nothing but overly sweet and generous with compliments to the point where I was certain he wanted something. Then he said what he wanted to do (as broadly as he possibly could, assuming none of us had any idea what he was saying but he sounded smart), which didn’t make sense based on her history and her current situation, and then handed my father a document to sign. I told my father not to sign on the line. The doc glared at me and told me that he was speaking to my father and not me. I told him to speak to me and not my father. He turned his back on me and tried to hand my father his pen to consent to this whacky treatment. I told my father NOT to sign it until he explained it to MY satisfaction. His reaction was to tell me that I was just an emotional little girl (I was 35) who knew nothing about medicine and that the grown ups were talking. I knew from the gossipy nurses that he JUST finished Med school 3 months prior, so I snapped back “I’ve been doing this for 8 years, can you say the same?” He said he was a doctor. I acknowledged that I didn’t have the degree, but I have worked in almost every doctor’s office in the area, every emergency department and every ICU at the major hospitals. I asked for his credentials. He glared at me. My blood turned to ice. He turned to my father and said “if you listen to her, your wife will die. She doesn’t know what she is saying, I do. She is going to kill this woman.” My father looked from one of us to the other and said the smartest thing he ever said in his life, “she doesn’t understand what you want to do, Doctor. She will not consent if she doesn’t understand; who would? Make her understand and I will sign whatever she tells me to.” I waited for the doctor to engage with me and try to explain it as broadly and pointlessly as he could. Instead he turned to me and hissed “you’ve succeeded in killing your mother. I hope the inheritance is worth it.” He stormed out and never came back. I dunno what repercussions there was for him (don’t care), I just know that the nurse that was in the room wasn’t known for her silence and that over the next two weeks of ICU with my mom I never saw him again.
I hate it because he built me up and then tried to tear me down. In doing so, he made me question my knowledge. I spent two weeks freaking out that what I made my father say no to could maybe have saved her and my crazy treatment idea would hurt her. Because I set it up for me to doubt myself. But my knowledge was screaming his way would kill her, and I couldn’t doubt that feeling/knowledge. I had to trust it and come what may. She eventually woke up, and lived another two years.
So yeah, don’t tell me I’m pretty and dumb. Neither gets you brownie points, and together, I’ll back you into a corner no matter how off kilter you’ve made me feel!
I depends at the level of acquaintance I have with them. If they are complete strangers, then bad language will make me feel uncomfortable. If I know them already, then being cruel / unkind about others will make me feel uncomfortable.
People who give me unsolicited advice — especially the ones who check up on me to see if I took their advice, and are mortally affronted when they find out I didn’t.
People who don’t know me, but who see that I’m old and conclude that therefore I must be senile, and then proceed to talk to me as if I am.
People who never show any respect to others but expect everyone to respect them.
Cyranny's Cove 
People who compliment me and people who belittle me. A person who tells me I’m pretty/smart/whatever, even if I know they are being completely genuine, makes me feel like they want something or worse, I doubt their genuineness. People who try to cut me down based on things I know to be false make me uncomfortable because they are clearly trying to get something and are being disingenuous to both of us (questioning my knowledge or understanding in something I know I know about in an attempt to make me doubt myself rather than listen to what I offer). People who do both at the same time make my skin crawl. “You have done so much and it’s so impressive, but you don’t really know what you’re talking about. You just had a ten year lucky streak based on what clearly is guess work and not actual research and knowledge.”
To me, the last is a perfect example of disingenuous. Don’t give me a bogus compliment you clearly don’t mean in the slightest and follow it with trying to cut me down by making up nonsense in an attempt to make me back down without actually providing substance to your “facts.”
I had a doctor for my mother in ICU tell me that he was impressed with how much information I had on her, how it was organized and the fact I had it all committed to memory and could pull it at whim. There wasn’t a word any doctor ever uttered that I didn’t have, cross checked and researched to the max. He was nothing but overly sweet and generous with compliments to the point where I was certain he wanted something. Then he said what he wanted to do (as broadly as he possibly could, assuming none of us had any idea what he was saying but he sounded smart), which didn’t make sense based on her history and her current situation, and then handed my father a document to sign. I told my father not to sign on the line. The doc glared at me and told me that he was speaking to my father and not me. I told him to speak to me and not my father. He turned his back on me and tried to hand my father his pen to consent to this whacky treatment. I told my father NOT to sign it until he explained it to MY satisfaction. His reaction was to tell me that I was just an emotional little girl (I was 35) who knew nothing about medicine and that the grown ups were talking. I knew from the gossipy nurses that he JUST finished Med school 3 months prior, so I snapped back “I’ve been doing this for 8 years, can you say the same?” He said he was a doctor. I acknowledged that I didn’t have the degree, but I have worked in almost every doctor’s office in the area, every emergency department and every ICU at the major hospitals. I asked for his credentials. He glared at me. My blood turned to ice. He turned to my father and said “if you listen to her, your wife will die. She doesn’t know what she is saying, I do. She is going to kill this woman.” My father looked from one of us to the other and said the smartest thing he ever said in his life, “she doesn’t understand what you want to do, Doctor. She will not consent if she doesn’t understand; who would? Make her understand and I will sign whatever she tells me to.” I waited for the doctor to engage with me and try to explain it as broadly and pointlessly as he could. Instead he turned to me and hissed “you’ve succeeded in killing your mother. I hope the inheritance is worth it.” He stormed out and never came back. I dunno what repercussions there was for him (don’t care), I just know that the nurse that was in the room wasn’t known for her silence and that over the next two weeks of ICU with my mom I never saw him again.
I hate it because he built me up and then tried to tear me down. In doing so, he made me question my knowledge. I spent two weeks freaking out that what I made my father say no to could maybe have saved her and my crazy treatment idea would hurt her. Because I set it up for me to doubt myself. But my knowledge was screaming his way would kill her, and I couldn’t doubt that feeling/knowledge. I had to trust it and come what may. She eventually woke up, and lived another two years.
So yeah, don’t tell me I’m pretty and dumb. Neither gets you brownie points, and together, I’ll back you into a corner no matter how off kilter you’ve made me feel!
LikeLike
Aggressive people
LikeLiked by 2 people
I depends at the level of acquaintance I have with them. If they are complete strangers, then bad language will make me feel uncomfortable. If I know them already, then being cruel / unkind about others will make me feel uncomfortable.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Liars, cheats and ungenuine people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
People who give me unsolicited advice — especially the ones who check up on me to see if I took their advice, and are mortally affronted when they find out I didn’t.
People who don’t know me, but who see that I’m old and conclude that therefore I must be senile, and then proceed to talk to me as if I am.
People who never show any respect to others but expect everyone to respect them.
LikeLike
People who swear a lot and people who belittle my beliefs once they know what they are.
LikeLike