funny · Just stories · Thoughts

Atoms and Bikinis…




Yeah, atoms and bikinis in the same post.

Ok, mainly bikinis.

Since they’ve been the talk of the town lately, I thought I’d do a little research about them so dreamy bikini things. I thought I’d ask my dear Wikifriend, because no one can provide unsure information like Wiki does.

I tried both the French and the English links, and I decided to stick to French, because it was much shorter and it looked like the author was far less serious than the English dude who has traced the very first mankind attempts at bikiniing, back when men enjoyed their women in tiny mammoth-skin bikinis.

No, hairy women wearing hairy bikinis… I am not going there!

That made me wonder why men liked bikinis all that much! This time I asked Google “why do men like bikinis?”. The most promising link was an article from the serious magazine Marie Claire. “What men really think about your bikini” I clicked, hoping to be enlightened. The description promised the opinions of 100 random men, about women in bikinis. That would give me a good idea of what you males think about the matter.

Unfortunatly, when I clicked on “see the conversation” I got re-directed to a Chanel advertisement site. I figured I had misclicked, closed the window, and tried again… After the fifth time, I understood I wouldn’t have the answer that easily.

I would have asked the women in bikinis specialist I know, but he was asleep at the time, probably dreaming about polka dot bikinis and the lucious women wearing them. Not helpful. I could have gone to his place, to wake him up and talk about it, but I doubt his loving and a tad jealous wife would have agreed with our midnight bikini pillow talk.

I thought I’d turn the table around. What would be the equivalent in menswear? Speedo swimsuits maybe? Ok, so what do I think about them?

At that point, I left the keyboard to go on a quest for something to snack on. I had had a short talk about cheese earlier, and it had stuck in the back of my head… A few pieces of swiss cheese later, I was back to investigate.

So… What were my thoughts about Speedos? Just to be clear, here’s what we are talking about:


Personally, not into that at all. At all. I hear you thinking “Yeah, you say that, but what about a really well built fellow, wearing nothing but a Speedo, lying on a sandy beach, on a warm sunny day, sweat pearling on his six pack?” Nope. I wouldn’t even want to see Mads in a Speedo. If that doesn’t convince the doubfull ones among you, nothing will.

I don’t see the point in wearing that unless you are a professional swimmer or diver. Other women might disagree, but I like to keep a little mystery in life. Speedos don’t leave much to mystery.

Where was I? Oh yes, bikinis! I guess guys just aren’t into mystery as I am.

Then I thought about the women in bikinis we usually refer to. They are usually slim, with curvy hips and rather big…… You know what I mean! They also look pretty, although I guess men could accept a big nose or bushy eye brows, since they’re not really looking at bikini women’s faces all that much.

So overall, we could say that men don’t really have a thing for bikinis, they just want to see more of the kind of women who can proudly wear a bikini! Clothing isn’t really the issue. We’re talking about women, bikinis being just an accessory.

The same must apply to women who enjoy the sight of men in Speedos. They must just be into super fit, muscular guys… Which is not my case.

“What is your type?” I heard you, sir, in the back… I’d be tempted to say that it isn’t any of your business, but that would be rude. I don’t actually have a type. The men in my life have been as different as can be, looks wise. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… That always applied to me. I’ve swooned for men my girl friends wouldn’t have found as attractive, and I am completely indifferent to others that most women get weak in the knees for. Hey! Why are we discussing this anyway?? This is about bikinis, not my likings in men!

So, back to my research on Wikipedia. I found out that even though bikini-like clothing had been proven to exist as far as 1400 BC, bikinis as we know them now have been “invented” by a French man, Louis Réard in 1946. He chose the name bikini, for the Bikini Island, which had been chosen for experimental atomic bombing. Mr Réard hoped the excitement created by bikinis would be as explosive as an A bomb!

At the same time, a man called Jacques Heim, was working on similar “clothing”, inovating by exposing women’s navels. Had he been more successful than Mr Réard, bikinis would have been called “atoms” (admit you had forgotten about atoms!), referring to the size of the tops and bottoms…

And you guys would have been sitting in the dark, late at night, at the keyboard, looking for luscious women wearing atoms! Atom ladies, showing some tanned skin… Women in atoms showing their navels to the world!

Not as sexy uh?

Showing their navels… Just reminds me that my belly button has a story of its own. Yeah, that’s a very special belly button I have! But that’s another story… Another day, maybe.




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