The Dutch cloggers… I bet you hadn’t seen that one coming uh? So, I learned tonight that Pippa has new neighbours upstairs, which are particularly noisy. Especially at night. They will be referred to as the Dutch cloggers (or DC) from now on, for obvious reasons.

I would have to thank the DC, since Pippa couldn’t concentrate enough to do anything more complicated than having a chat with me. (I even think she postponed toothbrushing before bedtime) I had the pleasure to spend some time with her and figure ways she could get back at them. Which is doubly funny, because Pippa is not a revengeful kinda girl, so it just put emphasis on how tired she was of the stomping and the loud music… I think this is actually the longest live chat we had! Thanx DC!

So after a while, Pippa left to attempt sleeping. And I went Googling on her behalf. OMG! I don’t know if it was because of bad key word choices but the Internets seemed to have gone insanely politically correct! I thought I’d find one or two websites written by people with a little too much time on their hands and good imagination… Nope! All serious sites giving good advice and talking about communication, verbalization, not confronting the neighbour… forces of law, justice, all the way until my eyes caught “victim support”… I was going the wrong way, Pippa wouldn’t find that funny at all. So I thought I’d make my very own list of

Ways to annoy (annoy) your noisy neighbours! (or what’s left of them after the party) – Note: all should be used very early the day after the annoyance!

1) Doing some early cleaning, but leave the dusting and clothes folding for later… Go for the heavy stuff! The vacuum is probably the most appropriate appliance to use, unless you have something more powerful to offer. Personally I always put on some music while cleaning, why note have them enjoy your tunes like they made you enjoy theirs?? All the better if your musical genres are completely opposite, that is called sharing!

2) I like the idea Pippa had… Using the blender! Nothing better than a sorta smoothie to start the day! And after having breakfast, why not take advantage of having the blender on the counter to do a little experimentation… Play a game of what grinds faster, very ferm carrots or ice cubes? And don’t take your scientific task lightly, repeat once or twice, or whatever number of times it takes to be sure… or run out of carrots and ice cubes. Here, again, playing loud music can be a nice adding to the situation, knowing dang well that a blender is a bit noisy, and not necessarily fun to listen to in the morning. Might as well cover it with nice melodies!

3) I don’t know if things are alike here and in Denmark, but here in Québec, every home has a door bell. I hope the same is true in DK. So here’s my idea. Play a game of “ring the doorbell”…  It is very easy. You go to your Dutch Clogger’s door and ring once. Back to your own apartment for, let’s say half an hour… Then go again, and ring twice! Back for a 1/2 hour break. Then 3 times… and you get how it goes. Unless the DC are dead, they’ll probably eventually come to the door to protest. I would then recommend the following answer to the “what the F*** do you want?”

“You weren’t making noise anymore, I just wanted to be sure everything was ok!” (Which can also be served in Danish… of course)

4) Last and not the least… This one would require a little more equipment, and time and skills, but I think it is a fun payback way to show the same love your neighbours have served you all night long! Here, you would have to screw a few hooks to the ceiling in the best spot possible to annoy (annoy) your DC. Get your own clogger shoes on, put on the music, and hang yourself upside down in order to give them a little clogging too! If that’s not going out of your ways to make them appreciate the experience, then don’t know what would be! Plus, I’ve often seen people paying fortunes to get machines that just hold them in that position for some health benefit of some kind… You get to bother you DC and get healthier, and for so much less kroner…

So there you go Pippa!

If you have any other idea of your own, feel free to share them below 🙂

#gladtobelivingupstairs