.

At home, we still have a landline telephone.

For the youngest of you Lovelies, a landline is basically a leash for your phone. That is meant to keep your phone in your house at all times, sometimes even in the same room it was plugged in.

And we’re not talking about Iphones or Samsung smart thingies. No, more like the dumbest kind of phone you can possibly think of. Phones that were meant just to make and receive calls. Phone calls! No video, no taking pictures, no looking for the best way to get to the movie theater, or booking your tickets on the way there… Not even able to distract you with the latest app. If it could tell the time it was, you had a fancy one!

So, yeah. We still have one, and quite honestly, it is just because I enjoy old school things like handwriting a letter, or keeping cash money in my purse at all times. Thinking about it, I probably couldn’t name ten people who still have one, and from the number I could come up with, most of them would be over the age of seventy.

I have a cell phone (a smart one, thank you very much!) and so does Chéri. Whenever someone tries to reach us, they get their way through one of our cells. So basically, the landline covers only three types of calls… 

Emergencies. Well, I think so. For some reason, I have this feeling that bad news will come through my landline phone. And in case of a major cellular network outage (don’t laugh, it happened last spring in Canada, and you wouldn’t believe how crazy people went, not having access to their precious smart phone!!), I could still communicate! Ok, with 911 and the less than ten people that also keep pre-historic technology in their homes… But Mom and Dad are on that list, and I need that security!

Wrong number calls. Because in all honesty, who calls a landline number on purpose nowadays (unless there’s an emergency involved, if so, step back to option number 1)? I’ve had my fair share of these, and I always take the time to tell the person at the other end of the (land)line that it really doesn’t matter that they misdialed. It just reassures me, knowing that they actually had to dial my number, thus probably using a landline themselves!

Miscelian… Miceli… The melting pot of all other reasons to end up making my phone ring.

And tonight, I had a call fitting  the third category. A solid one.

It went as follow… And I SWEAR this is the whole conversation almost word for word.

.

Me: Hello?

Mysterious caller (we’ll call him MC from now on): Good evening, I’m calling from – well-known real estate company -, do you know anybody looking to buy or sell their house?

Me: Hmmm…. (pretending to be thinking, to be kind) No.

MC: Okay… Are you looking to sell your house or buy one?

Me: Hmmmmmmmmm…. Not really. We’re renting at the moment, and are not looking to move anytime soon.

MC: …..

Me: (feeling uncomfortable, knowing that he probably understands that given the difficult times in housing, sticking with what you have is the smart thing to do right now in Québec)……

MC: Well thank you very much! You have a pleasant evening!

.

To say that I was disappointed with this call would be an understatement. For one thing, if you are calling just to disturb me on my – should I remind you again? – landline number, be ready to fight to sell me, or make me buy a new residence!

But I mostly felt sorry for the guy. His resilience and respect for my absolute lack of need to help to me find (or sell) a home was at most disarming. He just didn’t give a flying feck about it. Hey! I can’t say that I leave work every evening thinking I’m doing a difference in this world, but this guy’s pitch screamed ”I JUST DON’T GIVE A DAMN!!’

And I have to say… Respect, man! You most obviously hate your job, but you do it anyway without really bothering landline people like me. I feel for you, and I really hope you’ll move on to get a job that makes you feel alive.

I do, MC, I do… I feel for you!