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This could have been part of my ”I don’t do selfies… But!” series. But it is much more important than that humorous trend.

No, this is important. I think. Well, I just hope it can help at least one person with my experience. And if there’s one thing blogging taught me, it is that even if something seems unimportant, if it can have a positive effect on at least one person, it is worth sharing.

With this said, I know that we all have things we are complexed about. On various levels. Things we know people judge us by (or maybe not, I wouldn’t be surprised if we were all just paranoïed LOL). But nonetheless, these things make us uncomfortable on a daily basis, and we know we could fix it, but we fear the confronting reaction of ”Oh wow, you’re so much better now!!” meaning they all knew all too well you had that flaw, and FINALLY fixed it.

Oh geez, that feeling…

My father’s Mom lost most of her hair before I was old enough to realize it. It runs in the family, and it is not very usual, but it mainly hits female members of my tree.

I hoped I would escape the bad spell, without having to do anything about it. But thinking positive isn’t the answer to everything, and a good while back I noticed that my hairline was slowly giving up on me. I tried supposedly tested products that were meant to make my fallen hair regrow. In vain.

I tried fill in products to cover up the hairless spots with little luck, again.

And in the begining of 2020, In Australia, I started wearing a scarf to cover my hairloss.

At first, I pretended that it was mainly not to get sunburnt. But back home I kept the habit. In the middle of the pandemic (you know that cute Covid-19 thing) I shaved my whole head, in dispear. Only three people were aware of that, besides me. Chéri (of course), and my two dear friends, J and Trina.

Time passed, whatever was left of my hair grew longer, but my forehead stayed clear as a desert. And I started thinking ”I should do something about it”.  Chéri was encouraging me to do it, but I was so reluctant at first.

I remembered how unatural Grand-Ma’s wigs looked. And I much prefered wearing a scarf than following her steps.

But it hurt.

I mean, I am by no means the girliest girl in the room. Not even close to it. But as my hairloss had progressed over the years, my feeling about being feminine was slowly fading aswell. And I was more and more torn between the idea of letting my self-esteem go down the drain, and taking the risk of  ending up looking like a Mrs Potatoe Head with a fake toupet.

I tried to convince myself that I was stronger than that, and that it didn’t matter what people thought. But it wasn’t what others thought about me the hurt me that much. It was what I thought about myself whenever I looked at myself.

And after throwing the ball back and forth between me, myself and I for the longest time… I thought, ”Why not at least try?”

Two weeks ago, I made the step. I went to this all black hairdressing and wig business in my neighbourhood, totally trusting them (I had already turned to them a while back for a Christmas party special hairdo, and they had done an amazing job with the little hair I came with). I brought G, my dear Mini Me along, knowing she would of great advice, and honest at all times.

We looked for the right haircut, and for the best color, and I placed my order with Mr Micheal, the owner of the store.

A couple of days back, I got to get my hands on ”Nicole”. And Nicole quickly ended on my head. And as soon as I first wore ”her”, I felt better about myself. I think she looks cool, and natural. And she makes me feel more whole.

I was both excited and terrified to wear her to work yesterday.

But everybody was nice and discreet about Nicole’s first walk on the office catwalk. I was surprised. Sometimes, I guess, what’s a big deal for us, isn’t for the people we meet on a regular basis. Those who actually said anything about Nicole’s first day at work just complimented me on the nice hairdo.

And I realized that the problem was more in my head than on it.

What if your own complex was that easy to fix too? I sure would encourage you to step over your fear of getting judged to feel better too. Because you deserve it.

I’ll leave you with a picture of Nicole’s ”day at work” look, but I just want to say first… I can’t adress all of your insecurities, because I am no counselor. But if you are a woman (or a man, but I feel like men don’t have such a hard issues about it anymore – you guys look cool bald! I mean it!!) struggling with a bad case of hairloss, just let me know in the comments.

I’d love to share more about this, if there is a need for it.

Otherwise, Nicole will just go about with her own life, on my head.

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