.

The song’s last notes died in the air, calling for a little break from the dance floor.

She wasn’t a great dancer, far from it. But a few drinks and a couple of encouraging cheers from the other girls had been enough to shush that little voice in her head. This constant inner whisper, reminding her to stay discreet at all times.

Walking back to their table, she noticed that the the only silhouette left was his. The others were apparently either gone for a refill, to play some pools or still dancing. She couldn’t see his face clearly from the distance, but she felt his gaze following each of her steps.

She blushed a little, and hoped the dimmed light wouldn’t let him notice it.

Did everyone just abandon you there? – she risked…

She couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed having his full attention to herself. Part of her wanted to make the most out of it, while the other urged her to break this unexpected one on one moment… What if she waved at Amanda, to make her join them? Or maybe she could offer to go get another round.

Nervously, her fingers picked her pack of cigarettes from the table, and started to play with it, as they engaged into chit chat. Talking had never been an issue with him. Ironically, the natural connexion they had was what completely destabilized her. This easiness to enter and scootch into his bubble, and trade souvenirs…

She never would have thought she’d end up having feelings for him. He was average good looking, charming for sure, but nothing to strum her heartstrings. Unfortunately, along the years, she had discovered how funny, witty, and adorable he could be.

A gentle poke on her elbow shook her off her thoughts. Realizing that he was at the other end of the arm attached to said-finger, a shiver ran down her spine. It was, officially, the first time their bodies connected in any way or form.

Wanna go for a walk?

He pointed at her cigarette pack, still getting twisted and turned in her hands like a swirling batton. The little voice in her head screamed ”Noooooooooooo!”

Sure, why not!

She asked him if they should tell the rest of the gang. He chucked the last sips of his beer, and smiled her way.

Nope! They obviously don’t care about us anyway, wouldn’t you say?

Still numbed by his smirk, she leaned to grab her purse and emerging from under the table, shook her head.

They walked towards the bar’s door, and she stumbled a little (on purpose?).  When he reached out to catch her arm, she appologized and thanked him for saving her from a shameful fall.

The fresh air instantly brought her back to her senses. She pulled a cigarette out of her pack, and lit it up. Walking across the parking lot, almost shoulder to shoulder, she suddenly noticed that they were both silent, which was quite unusual for them.

Uh, humm… I have to ask… Is it true what I heard?

She tried to divert the conversation, mentionning there was so much he must have heard. Could he be more specific?

The word’s spreading that you… Hmm.. Like me?

She suddenly felt a strange mix of instant soberness and being totally numb at the same time. She needed every available braincell to work to make the best out of the situation.

Like you… Like, liiiike you?

They stopped walking, and in the darkness, he turned her way and nodded.

She had imagined everything but such a direct confrontation. Her insides were burning with the urge of surendering to her primal instincts, but she knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.

What difference would it make? You have everything! A great partner, awesome kids, a beautiful house… The big deal. Even ”if” I ”did” like you,  it wouldn’t change anything. Or would it?

Would it?

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You can also read Part 2