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Cyranny’s quickie!

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How do you deal with negative people?

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Cyranny’s quickie!

  1. I’ve always avoided them like the plague. But sometimes it takes a while to realize the fact that they are so negative. I had a good friend for about five or six years (at least) who was the most negative person I’ve ever met and it took moving away to scrape her off my shoe so to speak. My nuclear family is peopled with negative sorts, so maybe that’s why it’s hard for me to tell who is negative sometimes.

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  2. Depends. I don’t seek them out, but if they find me I either force myself to act like an irritating ray of sunshine until they realize that there’s no place for their negativity, or if I’m in a mood, I show them that their rainy disposition holds no candle to the thunder cloud, gusty vale, tornado that I can be. In those moments, I make them realize that they don’t know what it means to be negative, they just know to hide.

    There’s also a third thing that I do…. but it’s kind of mean and it doesn’t happen that often – but I laugh at their negativity. If they’re being negative just because they want to be and they admit there’s no reason other than they feel like bitching, I have a few times in my life laugh as they complain. I’m not being sunny, or trying to convince them that I’m not the one for it today – I’m just relishing the fact that it’s not me. Truth is, I’ve actually only ever done this to people who have done it to me…so I guess it’s not really a third response of mine but more of a Petty Crocker response.

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  3. Depends on who it is. I moved away from my family of origin, which was full of negative people. In everyday life I avoid negative people as much as possible, and when I have to be around them, I do my best to tune them out.

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  4. lol – there are some harsh comments here. I was not expecting to see that!!!

    Well, for a start, I try not to label them “negative people”. We are all family. Some people have good days and bad days. If I had a bad day, would I want to for others to label me a negative person and significantly change their behaviour towards me? Nope!

    If I detected a friend, relative, colleague, or a patient at work was having a bad day…I would be all the more aware of being kind, supportive, and perhaps try a little humour if appropriate. Negativity might come in all sorts of flavours. I had an intensely stressful situation when I became a target of cruel comments on social media. As a result, I am pretty negative in my opinion of social media. Negative person – I am not!!

    Perhaps someone is negative on certain issues for a very valid reason. If you asked me for my opinion on cigarettes I would give you a negative opinion. If I ended up stuck a some tobacco convention – I bet they would label me a negative person.

    Sometimes, if you listen to what someone is saying, even if it sounds negative, there may be a valid and important point they are trying to communicate – and people are just labelling them as negative and not listening. I have seen that happen many times. I have seen someone written off as pessimistic, negative complainers – and later it transpired they were actually pointing out something that was absolutely not right and they were the only person with the sense to say “this is not ok!”

    Negativity is at one end of a scale…positivity is at the other. Most people if they are honest are capable of thoughts, words, actions, reactions, that are anywhere along that scale. Aren’t we glad that people cut us some slack on a bad day and don’t write us off? Extremes are not usually very wise. A balanced individual will be more likely to handle situations in a balanced, reasonable way – rather than choosing extreme behaviour like ignoring someone or avoiding them. Soundness of mind is surely about being balanced. If anyone has ever been through a challenge that hurt them to their very core – bereavement of a child, or a marriage mate, an injury or illness that robbed them of their independence, bullying, betrayal, or other deeply painful challenges – well, sometimes people who are uber positive – can’t stop telling you that every cloud has a silver lining and all this has happened for a reason – may suddenly become the most annoying and delusional people on the planet!! Whereas – when you come across someone who is balanced, who can voice a sentence that actually makes sense – you just want to hug them and thank goodness that there are some sane people around you!

    On occasion I have noticed a close contact had a pattern of negative speech, I might kindly and carefully probe to see what was behind their outlook. Are they facing a challenge or stress that is sucking up positivity and a hopeful outlook? Is it possible they are overwhelmed by all the sad news and the problems in the world, or in their own lives?

    If you live with someone who seems to have a pattern of negative speech almost from dawn to dusk…it can be very demanding, and you would have to take steps to protect your own emotional health, perhaps ways to recreate yourself, friends you could confide in, and a source of motivation and strength that can energize you – whether that be love, or faith or something else that you can draw on.

    At the end of the day – we are a family, the human family, and patient kindness and love are always going to be more powerful than ignoring or avoiding someone who is perhaps crushed in spirit, losing a battle against despair, and perhaps a hair’s breadth from seeking a desperate end to their heartache.

    From my experience, love and kindness and sensitivity are usually the most powerful forces, able to reach minds, touch hearts, and heal hidden wounds. When we hear a negative remark from someone, we may not have any idea of the epic journey in life they are on, and how many cuts, bruises, and losses they have sustained along the way. If we truly understood the epic voyage of a lifetime they are travelling on – would we really just walk away and ignore them? Or would we feel honoured to know them and express our admiration for their survival through the kind of challenges that can cause many people to break.

    lol – I will stop there – except to say I know when I was heartbroken because of the enormous stress I was in – one of the worst things that happened to me was realizing that friends and colleagues were avoiding me. That isolated me with incredibly stressful challenges and made me feel there was nobody to turn to in my darkest hour.

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