Blogging · Me myself and I · Thoughts

Fake.

 

Being confident in yourself is a good thing.

I admire confident people. As years pass by, and wisdom sets in (I hope) I try to work on being more confident myself. The right kind of confident.

Because, yes, there are two kinds of confident people. Some people use confidence to hold their head high, to walk through adversity, and stand their ground. They let their voice be heard, and speak their mind, but always respectfully. Others use confidence as an excuse to be blunt and rude. They usually like to say that ”they say things as they are” or that, with them ”what you see is what you get”. To them, talking people down and being mean is acceptable, because they call it total honesty.

I’m sure you know some people like that.

I don’t get along with that kind of person very well. I don’t open up with people like that, because I know anything personal I share with them is a bullet I hand them to shoot me in the back, eventually. But it doesn’t mean I can’t respect them. I recognize what they are good at, and I can honestly tell if they are good workers, or are talented in certain fields. I won’t put them down, just because we are not compatible personality wise.

More than once, I’ve been called a fake by people like that.

It hurt me. Not because they thought so, but because they were sending out the impression that I was two-faced to other people around us. Now, I know that my friends and family know me better than that, but there are always people that will catch the gossip and take it for a fact. And that’s too bad.

Being able to separate personal and “business” relations is not being two-faced to me. I am capable of being nice and civile with someone I’d never go have dinner with. And that’s not being fake to me. That’s being well mannered.

I don’t know why I am writing about this… It’s not as if I could change anything about people being unpleasant like that. And the people I know who are like that will never read these lines.

Maybe I just needed to let it out.

I am terribly flawed, and in more ways than I’d like. But I am not two-faced. I am not fake. Secret, yes… Complicated, yes.

But I am not fake.

 

22 thoughts on “Fake.

  1. The thin line between confidence and overconfidence is often blurred. Being fake is also a phenomena that confuses people. Lovely piece of writing. Hope to see more from you. Have hope, write on! (Am I being fake or genuine? Think about it.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said!

    I have run across people in my life who were insufferably arrogant and who had deluded themselves into thinking that arrogance was the same as a high degree of skill and effectiveness at their job (whatever it was). But in reality they were just jerks and everyone hated them. What’s more, everyone laughed at them behind their backs.

    Give me someone who is quietly confident and effective any day of the week. And above all, have a sense of humor! I have always felt that the ability to laugh at one’s self is a sign of confidence with one’s self and what one does.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You strike me as authentic, I don’t waste time on fake.That said, I try to behave in a civilized manner sometimes I have to practice avoidance when I don’t think I’m up to the task. Got into a bit of a thorny situation with someone I used to spend a considerable amount of time with through a charitable organization….I offended her and my immediate and sincere apology was not accepted that was in April. Last month I was supposed to help with an event and couldn’t (valid reason not BS)…now I suspect this person is trashing me to whomever will listen. Not much I can do about this person’s opinion of me – I just need to live my best life and be kind when our paths cross. What other people think of me is none of my business and don’t let anyone live in your head rent free – two bits of advice that can be tough to reconcile yet freeing once you do. I will forever remain a work in progress.

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  4. This is such a good post. I agree that some see a businesslike attitude toward coworkers that are hard to like, as being two faced, when, like you say, it’s just good manners. When did good manners go out of style?

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  5. Oh my gosh… this speaks to me so much. Seriously, Thank you. I needed it as this as I’m currently struggling with at my office 💜 Constantly I get the word thrown at me for looking at life with a “glass half full” rather than a “glass half empty” mentality and because I’m usually happy most of the time, treating others with respect as though they are good people as opposed to assuming the worst. It’s unthinkable to most, but to me (like you said) I’D rather be this way then the latter you mentioned as it’s too miserable to be. Anyways… I’m babbling! Thanks again for making me feel like I’m not alone. ☺️ Positive vibes to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the kind words and vibes, Ivy 🙂 It is too bad you have to deal with that kind of people too in your everyday life. It can get toxic on some level, but I hope you find a way not to let them affect you too much!

      Welcome to The Cove, I hope to see you again soon! xx

      Liked by 1 person

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