Being confident in yourself is a good thing.
I admire confident people. As years pass by, and wisdom sets in (I hope) I try to work on being more confident myself. The right kind of confident.
Because, yes, there are two kinds of confident people. Some people use confidence to hold their head high, to walk through adversity, and stand their ground. They let their voice be heard, and speak their mind, but always respectfully. Others use confidence as an excuse to be blunt and rude. They usually like to say that ”they say things as they are” or that, with them ”what you see is what you get”. To them, talking people down and being mean is acceptable, because they call it total honesty.
I’m sure you know some people like that.
I don’t get along with that kind of person very well. I don’t open up with people like that, because I know anything personal I share with them is a bullet I hand them to shoot me in the back, eventually. But it doesn’t mean I can’t respect them. I recognize what they are good at, and I can honestly tell if they are good workers, or are talented in certain fields. I won’t put them down, just because we are not compatible personality wise.
More than once, I’ve been called a fake by people like that.
It hurt me. Not because they thought so, but because they were sending out the impression that I was two-faced to other people around us. Now, I know that my friends and family know me better than that, but there are always people that will catch the gossip and take it for a fact. And that’s too bad.
Being able to separate personal and “business” relations is not being two-faced to me. I am capable of being nice and civile with someone I’d never go have dinner with. And that’s not being fake to me. That’s being well mannered.
I don’t know why I am writing about this… It’s not as if I could change anything about people being unpleasant like that. And the people I know who are like that will never read these lines.
Maybe I just needed to let it out.
I am terribly flawed, and in more ways than I’d like. But I am not two-faced. I am not fake. Secret, yes… Complicated, yes.
But I am not fake.