So… Are you going to accept my friend-request or not, now?
Had it been a year already? She had the same stomach butterfly feeling. The same wet palms, the same stupid smile on her face, as when he had found her first, through internet’s warrens.
She hadn’t had the most quiet, tranquile life so far. Looking back, she seemed to always pull the shortest straw in most situations. As the years had gone by, she had learnt not to blame bad luck. She had made her own bed, bad choice after bad choice.
She had lived most of her life by herself. Her few attempts at building a relationship had failed miserably, sometimes by the guy’s fault, but more often because of hers. She didn’t blame anybody for it. She just had this problem with connection. She had been hurt too many times to be able to open up enough to let anyone in anymore…
She was doomed to walk alone now. Or so she thought.
The one thing she was good at, was to work. She had no trouble selling herself to a potential boss, and at times, she had even taken two jobs at a time. She didn’t need the extra cash, but it kept her away from an empty home, and it made her life that much easier to deal with.
The last couple of years, she had traded the double payroll for the bottle. She didn’t remember exactly how it had happened, but a glass of wine during dinner had become a couple of drinks over the evening, and eventually downing strong liquor shots one after another until she passed out on her bed, or on the couch.
Boredom had slowly evolved into a constant depressive state of mind. A viscious cycle, really. Alcohol brought her down, and she drank to forget her pain… There seemed to be no way out of it.
Of course, she had had a couple of conversations with her sorry self about putting an end to all of this. Her doctor had prescribed her sleep inducing medicine she could have taken all at once, and the rest would have been history.
But she didn’t want to die. She just didn’t want to keep living like this.
She had noticed a sign on the neighbourhood church’s door one day, on her way to work. AA meetings took place every Wednesday evening in the basement, and it felt like a sign.
What did she have to lose?
She had attended, that very night, her first meeting. Sitting in the back of the room, she had noticed him right away. He wasn’t the best looking guy in the place, but his head popped in the middle of the crowd, and when he had turned her way, there was just something magnetic about his stare.
She had listened to the people’s stories vaguely, hoping he would turn around again, but he hadn’t. It was only at the end of the meeting, when she was about to leave the church, that he had caught up with her…
Leaving already? You should stay for a coffee. It is free, you know?…
Just a coffee. Yeah, she could stay for a coffee. Although she felt it would be more, way more than that. There was something about this stranger that just spoke to her… He was probably just kind like that to everybody, but the sparkling in his eyes hypnotized her. It was crazy, she thought, she didn’t know anything about him… He seemed to read her thoughts.
You can call me John! Come back in… Let’s have a quick chat!
To be continued…. This is loosely inspired by a movie I really like, “Eternal sunshine for the spotless minds”. You can also find the first part of the story here.