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Brave enough…

Cyranny

 

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Curled up in the big wing chair by the window, she picked up the letter that rested on the coffee table…  Wrapped in a warm blanket, she unfolded it, and read the words slowly, imagining his hand trembling over the piece of paper…

 

 

     My dear,

As I sit here, locked in the darkness of my appartment, away from my thoughts of daily chores and responsabilities, my mind again drifts your way. I can’t help it, it flees ever so naturally, anytime I lower my guard. 

I try to imagine where you are, and what you are doing. Often I close my eyes and pretend you’re by my side.. I even catch myself talking to you at times. I wish you were here, although I know this won’t be possible anymore, and it hurts everytime I realize it.

I am sorry, my dear, for lacking bravery when I was offered the chance to make you a happy woman. I am sorry, I couldn’t find the words back then. I’m sorry, for the words I had, but never was able to pass on to you…

I will always remember how young, carefree and alive you made me feel. And how by some magic ways, you managed to dig holes in the walls I had built along the years… I guess it just scared me, how candidly and carelessly you made yourself comfortable in my world.

I wish I had stood steady and tall, I wish I had managed to at least listen to myself… But we men are sometimes the worst cowards, and we know missing the sweetness of a woman is the greatest pain one can suffer.

And so I let you go when it was time to… Waving, smilling while your eyes teared up with ache. But what you couldn’t see was how I was just starting to realize how much I’d miss you. I work hard, to change my thoughts, to clear my mind of you, thinking it will lessen my pain… But it doesn’t, it just postpones the moment I’ll get the craving to hold you in my arms again. And each time, it hurts more to find the emptiness I embrace.

I miss your smile, I miss your laugh… I miss the way you looked at me. I miss the smell of your hair, and the warmth of your body, when you curled yourself up against me. I miss your voice… and the songs your always hummed when words were unnecessary. I miss the way you held my hand and would have followed me blindly…

I am so sorry, I wasn’t brave enough to

 

 

Folding the letter again, she put it back on the coffee table, unable to finish it… Even if it was exactly what she would have liked to read from him, she couldn’t put “those” words in his mouth… Not even on paper.

Without thinking twice, she grabbed the piece of paper, took a few steps, and threw it in the fire.

She could always write herself the perfect letter tomorrow…

 

In response to November Notes Writing Challenge by  Sarah Doughty of Heartstring Eulogies and Rosema from A Reading Writer .❤

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22 thoughts on “Brave enough…”

      3. I had a dream once, it was the scene in my first book where Aisling first sees Connor on the street. There wasn’t more to the dream than that, but it wouldn’t get out of my head. I have a whole universe from that one dream, with four novels (at least two more to come) and two novellas. I never dreamed it would expand so much. But they aren’t done and I’ll go until they are. 😊😊😊

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      4. I sure hope so! Wow, that is one paying-off dream 😉

        That reminds me of a few years back… A friend of mine had been received by a new and VERY attractive gynaecologist, for her yearly appointment. Her story was soooo funny, I told her I’d make a whole book out of it…. Well, I worked on it during 7 months (the story not wearing off my mind) and I ended up with a 371 pages long story LOL

        Oh and about your novels (I’ll write to you in private for that matter, but I just wanted to mention) I’ve been trying to get the first ones, but the links always lead me to websites where I can’t get them…. I’ll send you the details by email soon!

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  3. I was sitting here reading the letter with tears in my eyes for the poor man who just couldn’t bring himself to speak………….and wanted to smack the girl when I discovered SHE had written that letter to herself. Then I wanted to smack her for not saying all of that to the poor man. dang, woman……NOVEL NOW!

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    1. Thank you Suze!

      That’s a lot of smacking around for one failure of a love story 😛

      I had an idea… I do have a novel ready (well, could always use a little work before attempting to epublish it, but still, the story is there.) but it is in French. I did start translating it into English, and have 67 pages done so far… It needs to be worked on (I believe that my level of writing has improved since then, and some parts might come as clumsily writen) but if you want to, I’d be glad to forward it to you, to test it 😉

      Let me know what you think about that 😉

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