• I don’t have much time ahead of me, but I really had to talk to you!

It seemed important, and I wondered what would be so important, that I had to leave a serious job meeting with all the big bosses and the power point presentation, and the free coffee and donuts…

• You don’t even drink coffee, why are you still complaining about that??

True, but my boss didn’t exactly look thrilled when I excused myself to go to the bathroom, in the middle of an important speech given by the DG! I really, really hope you’re not just calling to hear my voice again! I told you to listen to my voicemail message when you get those urges… Or maybe I could record a soothing mp3 file or something, you could play when having withdrawal symptoms, because I understand that some people just need to hear me once in a while, but we’re talking about my job here!

• No! No!… You don’t get it! There’s something important I have to tell you!

Ok, if it is an important matter. And I am out of the conference room anyway, now… So what is it, that required immediate attention? Are you sick? Did anyone get into an accident of some sort?

• No… I am fine but…

 

Sounds of dog barking around… And of owner running after dog… Yelling from owner towards dog for unknown reason… Static on the line… Wind, cell phone obviously being outside now…

 

What are you doing? Walking the dog? It probably isn’t THAT important if you take time to get the dog out while calling me!

• Don’t say that! You make it sound as if I didn’t have any judgment whatsoever! And by the way, I don’t have time to argue, I have to tell you and hang up before they catch me! They could be trying to call me as we speak!!

Trying to reach you? Don’t you have the “call waiting” option on your phone? You’d know right away if they called… Are you from the past? Even I have the “call waiting” option!

• Leave my phone options alone, will you? Arghh women! Here I am, trying to be openhearted with you, and confide when I feel something is important to me, and there you go, ruining it by spending my precious alone moments talking about my cell phone! You know what will happen to me if they catch me talking to you!

Yes… And you know that I’ll be out of work if my boss catches me here, in the cabinet, talking to you! So, why don’t you just tell me what is so dang important, and then we can hang up and both be safe!!

• The dog has a fixation on smelly things lately… He will steal all and anything smelly, and the smelliest the better, it seems! He steals smelly socks, smelly dirty underwear, smelly bits of old cheese, smelly garbage from the bin…

Ok! And what about the serious, important stuff I needed to know about??

Buffed sounds, maybe someone running… Dog barking playfully… Unintelligible screaming… Barking coming closer, and then fading away…

• BAD DOG!! Come back here! That’s mine!! The dang dog is running away with my insole! Come back you devil! Give it back, NOW! Waaaaaaaa…

What in heaven’s name is going on?

• Oh no!! The nurse saw me! I’m sure she did! I don’t want to go to the loonies’ ward again!! I don’t want to get the shocks, and the pills and all those crazy things again!!!

Calm down! What’s going on?? I think we’d better hang up for now… Hide your phone and pretend you were just running after the dog… I’m pretty sure that nurse didn’t see you talking. I’ll hang up now, ok? Let me know how things are going when everything is calm and quiet again, ok?

• Ok!!!   Bye now!

 

Some time later… (text messaging)

Him: You were right, the nurse totally bought my dog story. I’m back in my room now.

Me: That’s good… Try to rest, we can talk about important stuff later…

Him: Can I call you tomorrow?

Me: Of course, you know you can call me anytime.

Him: I hope so… I’m here because of you, after all!