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Cyranny’s quickie!

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What’s a job you did for a living, but never added to your résumé?

 

 

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20 thoughts on “Cyranny’s quickie!

      1. Telemarketing gig I had for about 6 months. The bad part is that I wasn’t trying to sell anything, it was merely market research. People still cussed me and hung up on me on the regular, even though I was offering money to them to simply try a product then give their opinion of it. Hated that job.

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  1. I worked for about 3 days as a Cashier at a building supply store. I am not good at math and we had old registers so my drawer came up short. They let me go. It was only 3 days so, no need to add, that.

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  2. I didn’t make any money off of it, but I did it to allow her to keep living – and that was learning everything I could about the human body and effectively giving myself a crash course in all major specialties to give my mother a chance to live. I did it for 10 years. It was 4 -5 times a week at doctors, and 20 hours a day for two to three weeks at a stretch when she was in the hospital.

    Also, I worked as an end of life coach for three people dying from chronic illnesses that they wouldn’t accept and 2 people with severe mental degeneration due to late-stage Alzheimer’s. Full blown dementia.

    None of these have ever made it on to my resume because these people all passed, and they all deserve the dignity that I gave them in their last months of their life. They are people and I will talk about it, but they will never become bullet points.

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    1. Oh wow Marla… And I don’t say this lightly. This kind of care-giving deserves all my respect! It might not get into your resume, but it must have been an unforgivable experience for both you, your mom and these three people… Sad, demanding and exhausting for you, no doubt about that, but to know that you shared and made a little better this last stretch of their lives must have been rewarding nonetheless…

      Thank you for sharing! *Big hugs*

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      1. “Oh wow Marla… And I don’t say this lightly. This kind of care-giving deserves all my respect!”

        Thank you. If I’m being honest, it’s horrible. I know it’s the last stretch for them (my mom’s last stretch thankfully lasted 10 years against all doctors statements because I made sure of it and refused to listen to any of them). But I know I’m working with someone who has a lot of baggage or just doesn’t understand what’s going on, or whatever it is. Fear is rampant across all of them. It’s very painful to see it, but there’s also nothing like walking into the house of the person you are caring for, and they are so happy to see you. Or they know it’s you and they stop being scared immediately and trust you. The first one I ever worked with who was severely along wiht Alzheimers was my grandfather who came to live with us after my grandmother died. He could not remember how to open his eyes. No one else really understood the human mind and how it goes from functional to completely not functional so easily. They know he couldn’t remember names and shouldn’t drive. But forgetting how to open your eyes was beyond them. My father was getting upset, thinking my grandfather was plying (he wasn’t). My grandfather was a little slip of a man and sent my father clean across the room. He got scared. He didn’t know why he was suddenly blind. I was actually in the shower and I heard this gigantic thud. I was out of that showwer so fast I could have broken every bone in my body if I slipped. Had to help my dad up and my dad told me he had to go away now… he was violent. I told him to NOT SAY A WORD. “he needs to know.” “he will.”

        I had to go over and I asked if he knew who I was and he said “MARLA! That man is yelling at me to open my eyes and they are open. Tell him to go away or I’ll push him in front of the train when it comes!” (We were in his bedroom). I told him he should be nicer and not push people in front of trains, then yelled at the computer desk to leave him alone. my dad just watched. Then he told me he was scared because he went blind. I told him he didn’t go blind his eyes were closed. He was adamant they were wide open and I was trying not to laugh because he was SOOOOO serious. This man, sitting on the end of the bed with his eyes slammed shut like a little kid completely serious that his eyes are wide open and he’s blind. It struck me as funny in that moment. Still does. Told him I was going to touch his face and that if he pushes me I’ll push him back. He laughed at me and said not to make him laugh because blindness isn’t funny. Reminded him I was going to touch his face and put my finger against his temple. I told him if he could feel it and he said yes and I said look at my hand, I think there’s a bug on it. His eyes slammed open and he twisted his whole head and grabbed my arm to insepect for bugs (that was his job since I was a kid – get rid of the bugs because we were all girls and girls hate bugs – my grandmother convinced him that his lot in life was to forever save the girls from the bugs – he raised two boys). He told me it was ok it was gone now. I thanked him and he said “you’re all wet” I said I was in the shower but there was a bug and I needed him to get it off of me. I told him to put his shoes on and he said he can’t because he’s unable to move. I reminded him he just moved his hands and he said he broke his back when “the man” scared him. I said OK and I helped him put on his shoes. I brought him downstairs to my mom to give breakfast to, and I went to get dressed, when I cam downstairs my father blocked me at the bottom of the steps and said that he had to go – I’ve done a great job keeping him from any of this until now, but he punched my mom in the face. She had the same name as my grandmother and he knew she wasn’t my grandmother so he was convinced she was the KGB trying to get state secrets from him. Neither one of which ever even happened in his real life. I told him I had to take him to the hospital and he told me no. I told him that so far this morning he went blind and then he couldn’t move. We had to have tests done. Then I would take him to school with me while we waited for the results. He said OK and got in the car because he trusted me to take him to school with me like I did twice a week. I HATED having to be the one to do it but I was legit the only one he hadn’t tried to incapacitated that morning and there was driving involved. I missed school because I wouldn’t leave him as he kept trying to escape the torture chamber (hospital). He tried to slap a nurse because she was really obnoxious – he wanted out and she started talking to him like he was a child and he was getting REALLY agitated and told her like three times to step back, she just kept getting closer – face first – and talking to him like a lost child or puppy. I told her to back up and she wouldn’t. His hand straightened out and I saw that he was about to hit her and I said “pop-pop if you touch her they will NOT give you lunch because SHE gives you lunch!” he put his hand down immediately. I told her to give him his personal space or *I* would hit her and I don’t care if I get lunch. She got mad and left. Her and another nurse came in and made his hands into giant q-tips and he was trying to bite them off so he could make his great escape. I told Houdini to lay back and just relax until lunch. he said he didn’t want to relax but lunch sounded great (he had breakfast an hour before that). I had to feed him lunch when it came because he had the q-tip hands and I have never heard my grandfather complain SOOO much LOL He hated EVERYTHING on his plate, but ate it all. LOL After lunch, it was round 500 of the great escape so I started talking about dinner. My grandfather would eat non-stop if permitted to. We moved him from the hospital to a care facility and he never came home again. he lived there almost a year until he tripped on his roommates shoes and broke his hip. I took care of him for 2 years. I could never put him on a resume. Then it just became part of what I did. I worked, went to school and worked with the other people.

        And I loved all of them. And not one of them belongs on a piece of paper as a bullet point. They were all people, and they all deserved respect while alive and now that they’re not they still deserve that respect. I have been told to put it on my resume by people that just don’t understand what I mean when i say that. But it’s truly how I feel and nothing will change that. In my opinion, they trusted me to take care of them in life. They trusted me over their own children in most of the cases. They knew me no matter what happened, and even if they didn’t, they told me “I don’t know you but I trust you. OK” and would comply. It feels cold and wrong to take that trust and use it after they pass as an “I successfully helped this person transition until the next stage of their existence” point on a resume.

        I’ve been told that is odd and wrong for me by many people. I don’t care if it’s odd or won’t help me get ahead. I will not step on them to get ahead. I still have the notes from the one guy I helped. he had lost the ability to control himself in any way, and he couldn’t talk or swallow but his mind was sharp. He refused to believe that he was dying so my cousin called me and told me to go meet with him. I went, and he kept asking me to come back. So I did. I spent the last two months with him after I got done work. He told everyone else to take a flying leap he refused to die. I had the shitty job of letting him know that his body was betraying him and he should be kind to the people that are here trying to help him. He wouldn’t listen to me either so I flat out told him the fourth time I had ever seen this man in my life that he was “being an asshole and I don’t like dealing with assholes so I’m leaving. Let his sister who actually likes him deal with it.” He grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me leave until I agreed to wait for him to write a note. “tell her to come here.” I called her in, she had been crying in the kitchen cuz he was so mean to her. He held up a note “Marla told me to tell you that I’m sorry”. She laughed and said to him “seriously? Even like this your tongue would fall out if you actually admitted you were wrong?” He wrote back “I have enough problems. My tongue needs to stay in my head.” She lightly smacked him while smiling and then busied herself in the kitchen. By the end, he got back in touch with his priest, he got last rites, he reached out to the people he felt he wronged, and he was at peace. Last time I saw him he had a pre-prepared note written to me. We talked for a while and he told me that he was doing better and thanked me and told me not to come back because it was going to get worse and he didn’t want me to see him like that, but feel free to call his sister for updates. Then he gave me a pre-prepared note and tried to kiss my cheek goodbye. It was long, about all of the things I helped him see in himself that he never realized was just him being an ass, and thank you for not using kiddie gloves and letting him really see himself for the first time in his life, etc. It was beautiful and I cried the whole time I read it. I still have it. Three days later, his sister called, he had passed. That was 15 years ago now. HE was not a bullet point either. He was a person who needed help and I had the ability to give it to him. The specifics of what we talked about is between him and me and I will not answer nosey questions by an interviewer about it.

        I give of myself because I have that to give. These people have given me just as much in their own ways. They may never say Thank You, but I know that in the end, they felt safe in the time they had let and that’s enough. I can’t give them anything else – most of these people have worked their entire lives and can buy and sell me five thousand times over. I can’t give them anything they don’t already have as far as that goes (except the one lady never had a disney watch and she always wanted one. I couldn’t find one that worked that was what she wanted, but back in the day, e-bay was truly a thing and I found a broken one and got that for her – and she wore it proudly and was buried with it. She didn’t care it didn’t work – said neither do my eyes. I can’t see those hands anyway. It’s beautiful!)

        What would I write for that? “Purchased a watch from e-bay for a woman who always wanted one”?? that’s not a resume builder either. That was someone I cared about. In all of my jobs that I did get paid for, they have to make it to my resume. Unless I can generalize the statement, it won’t make it in. I love the people (even if I met them when I first walked in), which is how I can give of myself. They are not bullet points. Not a single one is. If after years of living my own life, well past knowing and caring for these people, they aren’t a bullet point in my life, but part of the fabric of it, how can I justify making them less than that on a resume?

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      2. Sorry, I know that got long, but I mentioned this question and my answer to my father, and he told me that I should put it on my resume and he still thinks it’s a major flaw that I won’t. That I refuse. I told him all of what I wrote in the last comment and he said “I still think you’re completely and totally wrong.” But that’s him. He also thinks that all of the jobs I did like this are exhausting and I’m insane for having done it for no money since he realizes that it hurts to do this stuff. You seemed to understand better so I wrote it to you because it’s easier than fighting with him LOL

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  3. Every resume I send is tailored to the job I am applying for. I have worked in so many fields, if I listed them all, am employer might misunderstand. So I only list what was relevant. I find it hard to go for interviews and explain I spent years of my life working full-time on an unpaid basis and was trained for any assignment that I was required for.

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    1. I think that’s very clever… Sometimes, less is more 🙂 And after some years, I think that your confidence during an interview is more valuable than any former jobs you might have done 😉

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