”Crimson red”, she thought.
Like her favorite lipstick… Like the fine Pinot Noir she had sipped on, just moments ago.
The bath’s water was exquisitely warm, like a blanket, wrapped around her. She felt slightly dizzy, and wondered if it was the wine kicking in, or just… Then again, she didn’t really care.
Curiously, she didn’t feel scared or anxious. Peace was taking her over, chasing away every bad feeling that had lingered for much too long. Yes, she felt more and more peaceful with every breath she took. And it seemed like she had been longing for that quietude for years, if not decades.
She laid her head back on the rolled up towel, and closed her eyes. Music was playing in the living room, perfect soundtrack to her well planned escape. She had thought it’d calm her down, but she didn’t feel the least bit stressed at this moment. It was quite the opposite, and she thanked herself for choosing this record, to accompany her into the growing numbness.
She had a thought for her family, her friends, and of course for him. The memories floated in her mind like soap bubbles. Every piece of her past, passing before her face before popping in the thin air. Her first bicycle fall, and how her mother had kissed the pain away from her barely scratched elbow… The family gathering around the pool, on the first day of summer vacation… Her first landing in Paris, hand in hand with her bestfriend… The feeling of his hungry lips on her skin after that date that had almost gone terribly wrong when a man had tried to make a hold up in the liquor store where they had stopped for a bottle to share…
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!
Red… It was so red… She closed her eyes again.
She had expected it would be much faster, but then again, she had expected it would hurt more too. Up until the end, she’d be wrong, but that didn’t bother her anymore. She wondered how long she had been lying in the bath tub. Not that long, obviously. The water was still pleasantly warm and the music was still playing.
Would he ever be aware of this awkward moment in her life? She doubted it. It was all for the best… It didn’t have anything to do with him… or did it? She felt tired… So very tired.
So, so very tired…
Would he miss her?
She felt her heart beating softer and softer. She opened her eyes, and stared at the water again. She knew she should have felt disgussed and afraid, but she felt way too peaceful to even bother. All she could think about was ”Red… Red… Red…”
The lightness… She felt like flying.
Her senses seemed so very blurry. She closed her eyes again, and surrendered to numbing feeling.
She turned her head towards the door, hoping someone would come in by some sort of chance. But she wasn’t on a lucky streak. Had she ever been?
Barely counscious, she raised her hands out of the water and stared at her slit wrists. How could she have done it? Why had she done it?
The music stopped.
So did her life. In silence, and all alone.
Via Today’s Word of the Day Challenge: Dark