Blogging · Me myself and I · Thoughts

Between Bloggers -That fine line

Cyranny

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There are two main types of bloggers.

Those of us who wear a mask. Bloggers who use a nickname, never show themselves, and avoid giving up personal information. Though we know a ”real” person stands behind the character, we never get to truly know these mysterious people.

Then there are bloggers who write under their real name, don’t hesitate to show their face, and share their personal life on a weekly basis.

Both are fine ways to go, and they have their advantages.

I think I stand somewhere in between. I use a nickname, and (very) rarely post pictures of myself. But I have shared a good deal of informations about my life in The Cove.

I think that defining if you want to be anonymous as a blogger is an important thing to ponder when you decide to join the bloggosphere. Because unless you really have no filter, and don’t mind at all what other people think, it will eventually affect what you can or cannot talk about in your blog.

When I started up, a little over three years ago, I thought I never would have to censor myself. I never told my family, friends or co-workers that I was starting a blog. I didn’t want to have to worry about how my mom, my boss or my neighbour would interpret this or that story or piece of poetry.

But as time passed by, and with the number of people I interact with growing, I realized I had to be cautious about what I posted.

That’s probably why I drifted more on the fiction side. Fiction allows me to write pretty much anything I want without fear of hurting anyone’s feelings.

I don’t think I am a bad person, but I did happen to catch some bitter reactions to personal things I had shared. On blogs I visited frequently, from people I considered blogging-friends. Exceptions, really… But still, I didn’t like reading these things.

I know some of you would say ”Don’t mind these people!” But I just can’t.

I just care too much.

This probably just seems like some rambling, but what I mean to say is that if you are starting as a blogger, or if you are considering starting a blog, think about it. Because it is a fine line between writing what you want, and writing what you can.

If you have a tough skin, go ahead, say whatever you want.

If you are soft hearted, think twice….

53 thoughts on “Between Bloggers -That fine line”

    1. Thank you, Cheryl 🙂 This means a lot to me! Fortunately, most bloggers are kind and respectful… And awesome people like you largely compensate for the few who don’t care about others 🙂 *big hugs*

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  2. I went the opposite. I started off using a blog handle – simply “the inked autist.” After awhile I quit giving a shit and started using my real name. My days in Corporate America are numbered anyway so if they get cut a bit short because a coworker or supervisor is offended by what I post here I’m not about to lose sleep over it.

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    1. Hahahaha I knew you’d say something like this! I don’t have your thick skin, and I just thought I’d warn the other softies like me, out there 😛

      I sometimes wonder what it would feel like to not give a damn about what people say and think at all… But I doubt that’ll ever happen!

      Thank you for your comment, Lynn! Always a pleasure to have you around 🙂 xx

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  3. I agree with you. It becomes quite tough when you actually want to express a lot but have to carefully put that in words on blog.
    I will say, it’s your blog. Write the way you want. Whether it’s cautiously or freely.

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    1. Thank you, Shweta 🙂 I think that as we become part of the WordPress community, we find out that it is much like ”real life”. There are nice people, some less so, people who like gossip, and some who don’t care about it. You just have to find how to be discreet about some informations, without censoring yourself 🙂

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  4. Someone has commented on your writings? On their blog? Dear Cyranny, I hate to think that someone has hurt your feelings. You are the kindest blogger I know. Unfortunately, you will not be for everyone and that is ok because you are a perfect friend to me. I am sensitive sometimes myself but I don’t dare change who I am for the likes of others. I posted something today that I think you need to read. Please check it out. I began anonymously but couldn’t continue because of how close I became with the community. I have since told others, locally, about my blog. I do monitor my mouth more than when I blogged anonymously but I do not regret my decision to be seen. I have an important message to share and I shouldn’t be ashamed to put a face to it. I love you doll. I am here if you need me. Honestly.

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    1. I read your wise words 😉

      I just want to make a precision… The things I read didn’t make me change who I am. But it did make me consider what I share and don’t share online.

      Luckily, the things I read on these people’s blogs go back in time. These are not recent events… I just never talked about it, because I didn’t want to be whiny. But I thought discussing it could help new bloggers… I am not saying that anyone should censor themselves. But I think it is wise to consider being more discreet, when you know that you are soft hearted like me 🙂

      You are also bringing an interesting point… Your blog has a ”purpose”. You have a message to share, and a business to promote. I blog only for the fun of it. I am not on a mission, and I don’t help people with my words. I am just here as a hobby, and hopefully to entertain 😛 I think it makes a difference…

      Thank you for your comment, Gorgeous! I love you too, you’re an awesome Lady!! xx

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      2. Ohhh.. Sorry if I made you feel that way, Candace! I felt the comforting intention in your comment, but I just wanted to reassure you 🙂 I didn’t write the post while feeling really bad about what happened. I have a feeling you might have gotten the wrong feel about my answer because of the first sentence… I was referring to the post you published on your blog 🙂 Again, sorry for giving you a wrong impression, you are one of the nicest people I know in the bloggosphere, and your kind words are always appreciated, Beautiful 🙂 *big hugs*

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  5. Only recently I started telling colleagues that I write. My family and friends have known since the beginning. I don’t share the names of my kids or where I work – I draw the line there. I started writing musings but switched to short stories. Not from negative feedback but because I want to write fiction. It’s easy to say write what you want because I’m pretty thick skinned, but I do feel protected by the anonymity somewhat. I’m sorry if some reckless person threw about their words and I hope it hasn’t dampened your want to write – do what works for you. Either way this was a fantastic post!

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    1. Thank you, Lisa 🙂 I wish I had thicker skin, but in some way, I think that being sensitive is not necessarily a bad thing. I just have to be careful about what I let out and what I keep for myself 🙂

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  6. “…unless you really have no filter, and don’t mind at all what other people think, it will eventually affect what you can or cannot talk about in your blog.”

    I am one of those anonymous bloggers. But there’s nothing I can’t talk about in my blog. No real world names or faces, but it’s not because I feel that, were I to use my real name, there would be things I couldn’t write about in my blog. Quite frankly, I’m too old to worry about what other people think of me and I’m very outspoken about my beliefs, my politics, my opinions, and my perspectives. And, believe me, I know I’ve pissed some people off with some of what I’ve posted. So what? I have but one reason for blogging anonymously. I’ve had my identity stolen twice already and I don’t want to make it any easier for it to happen yet again.

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    1. I read about your theft identity in past posts… And that’s terrible! I get why you wouldn’t want to give anyone the opportunity to do it again.

      I wish that I could say I don’t worry about what people think about me, but I can’t. I don’t mind when other bloggers disagree with what I write or think, but I still mind when people criticize who I am as a person, especially in my back. With that said, I can’t be everybody’s cup of tea, and I don’t expect every reader stumbling on my blog to like me.

      Maybe a couple of years more will help me care less 😛 We’ll have to wait and see 😉

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      1. Fortunately no, not via blogging. But I am very cautious?about my online presence and that is one of the reasons, other than here on WordPress, I don’t do much in the way of social media anymore.

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  7. All good points you raise C. As you know I write under my real name but it does mean I sensor a lot of stuff .. it’s a fine balance between being genuine and revealing too much. I’m so sorry someone criticised you. You should be free to write what you want.

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    1. You bring an interesting point there, Miriam… I have crossed the path of several bloggers who consider themselves genuine because they share every thought that comes to their mind without filter. I think it is ok for them to be this open about themselves and their lives, but what irritates me is to be told that I am ”fake” or somewhat ”cheesy” because I don’t let everything out like them…

      I think you found a very healthy balance of ”being genuine” vs ”keeping your privacy”! Thank you for your comment 🙂 xx

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  8. I like to write about my own personal experiences – I find it much easier to write from life than I do to think up fictional stories. However I am very security conscious and also aware that in sharing the interaction I have had with others in my life, I want to obscure any personal details about them to protect their security and also prevent any embarrassment or harm.

    I have had a lot of encouragement from other bloggers. I have had a one blogger who I think took a complete dislike to my posts and thought I was childish and needed to grow up, but as their comments were becoming more and more aggressive, I just trashed their comments. I had another blogger who seemed to misunderstand the purpose of some of my posts and started picking on little things – I found they were a lot more reasonable when I tried to clear up those misunderstandings and explain what seemed to have caused confusion. But again, I decided to trash the comments where they appeared to be ranting over my words.

    I am all for peace with other bloggers. But as in real life, there are times when you find you can’t please everybody, even when you are only trying to be a cheery happy blogger!

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    1. I follow many bloggers who use their blog as some sort of journal, and I really like to read people like you!

      It always surprises me that some readers will take the time to criticize bloggers who are not at all trying to create controversy. But there always will be people like that, and I think you are doing the right thing by trying to communicate, and trashing them if it doesn’t work 🙂

      Fortunately, trouble makers are only exceptions, at least to me they are…

      I’m with you for a peaceful, live and let live bloggosphere! xx

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    1. I agree… There is no right or wrong things to share. As long as you are willing to deal with people’s reactions 🙂

      Being a soft hearted, very sensitive person, I now prefer to keep certain things to myself. I can’t control what other people say, but I can control what I do let out in the bloggosphere… Thank you for your comment, Erica!

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  10. I guess I’m all over the place in this regard. Most people know my real first name, and the photos I published are really me. And not all responses have been kind. But I keep some things off of my blog and draw the line on what I share. I hope no one has been rude to you, as you are so very kind and polite on your blog.

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    1. Yeah, I think that you are in the ”in between” category like me, Rob 😉

      I wouldn’t say that people have been rude to me, but some have expressed pretty negative opinions in the past. I don’t mind it, when bloggers do that in my comment box. It is impossible to please everyone 😉 What I have trouble with, is when I find people putting me down on their own blog. (it didn’t happen often) It feels kind of mean-spirited to me, since I can’t talk back, if I don’t find out about these posts… And over time, it started to make me wonder if more of these were out there, that I just didn’t know about… I always tried to be nice and welcoming (and that won’t change), but I am keeping more stuff to myself now…

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    1. I agree, if someone really wants to find out, there are always ways to figure who’s behind a blog 😉 There are probably people who put a real effort into being completely anonymous, out there, but it must be a lot of work!

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    1. It sure does… We all have to draw this line between what we choose to expose online, and what we keep to ourselves. I think you are a good example that a blogger can preserve his privacy without censoring himself 🙂

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  13. I always always love reading your thoughts on the blogging journey. You are spot in in this post. It makes me soooo sad that anyone would have even a somewhat negative thing to say about you. My only question is …. HOW? You are such a light to this community, that actually makes me quite mad. Anywho…

    I struggle with what to post/what not to often. I can at times have a dry sense of humor, sometimes even sarcastic that I’m afraid will be misinterpreted, and I have stayed far away from anything that can be controversial. On the flip side, sometimes I worry this stunts creativity. I am like you, Cyra, we have such tender sensitive hearts and the fear of getting backlash or someone being offended by something I say scares the daylights out of me! But then… alas.. I never post a thought or an opinion because of that. I empathize entirely with this, and I think your words are wise in warning.

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    1. oops meant to say I never post a potentially controversial thought or opinion because of that**. Thank you for sharing this post, my dear friend! Oh and PS. if there is any doubt in your mind, you are the furthest thing from a bad person 🙂 Sending big ol’ Cali hugs to Freezingland!!!

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  15. The Blogosphere is a fickle place,in pet blogg we call the community Blogville,and it is a bit easier to get along with others but really personal stuff I tend to Leave to my personal facebook page with which I share with only my friends,but a lot of thoses friend are fellow bloggers so they know both sides,but we do love reading your blog,we may not comment all the time but we do read your posts,xx Speedy and Rachel

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  17. I immediately got mad (on your behalf) to think someone hurt you…then I thought Oh my Gawd, it was probably me…….and if so I want to state right here and right now, that if I in any way EVER hurt your feelings by writing anything at all I am most heartily sorry for doing so. I know I mention you (quite a lot actually) when I write, but I hope (and pray) that everything I have ever written was positive…for that is how you make me feel. I absolutely adore your writing, I adore your poetry, and I love the interactions we have had since I first followed Linda into the Cove to see what you were doing. Yu are such a loving person, it comes out in your blog posts so frequently..you really care about other bloggers and we can all see it. So if it was me in any way shape or form, please accept my apologies. I wouldn’t ever do it on purpose. Luv ya.

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    1. Dear Madame Suze, you have absofeckinlutely no reason to feel bad, I promise 🙂 You never said anything hurtful, not even close to it! I also loooove the bond we have built over the years (btw Linda passed by just yesterday, I was sooooo surprised to see her in my “likes”. It’s been so long) and how we can always have fun over little nothings 🙂 I love you and if you had hurt me without meaning to, I would have talked to you about it in private… So please do not worry anymore 🙂

      No, the events I refer to here, are long passed. I waited before talking about it, exactly because I didn’t want to seem like I was seeking some sort of “revenge” from what was said. I am not harsh about it, and it doesn’t really affect me anymore. But I have learnt through what happened that every piece of personal information is a bullet you give to someone, without knowing if they have a gun… If you get the picture 😉 I also found out that some things I was more comfortable talking about back then, may seem like bragging, or stuff to make myself look good, when they were merely anecdotes and thoughts… Anyway… These people probably don’t even come around The Cove anymore…

      Luv ya too, Swell Lady!! *big hugs* and give one to George too! I hope you two are doing great 🙂 xx

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  18. Although I have no problem writing freely about myself, i realized that there had to be some censorship when it came to things I tell about the family. I write things about them, but never use their names and only someone really acquainted with us could possibly figure out who I was talking about. i have posted their pictures a few times, but again still no names. i have to respect their not wanting to be the main subject of my blog. I write a lot of non-fictional stories about our lives, but names are changed.

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    1. I think it is wise to change the names, as you do. Like you said, not everybody is ready to have their life displayed in a blog, so it is a good thing to keep them anonymous 🙂

      Thank you for your comment, Tessa 🙂

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      1. I got yelled at about taking pictures of my grandchildren. Their father told me not to post them on facebook. So I try to be careful what I do post. Now they do post pictures of their children on their but it is their choice of what gets posted.

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  19. I am late to this but…I write freely. although because of my did, my name is Carol anne on the blog, which puts some anonymity, as that’s not my legal name. But I have told people what it is, and I am sure people who don’t know would be abel to figure it out. I want to echo everyone else, your blog, your story, your right to write what you want when you want. If people don’t like it they can quit following you or move on. I did go private tonight, because I am nervous some people from my past have found me who I don’t want reading my writings. Please do follow me. I’d love it if you could. xox

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  20. I think it is wise to be cautious about what you publish on your blog. I am careful to share only general points about location and whereabouts, personal identity stuff. It is a fact that it does happen, though. I am so sorry that you had negative experience. You don’ t deserve that. I have not had such an experience although I have had photographs stolen to use in a video that was a commerical interest. It does pay to keep a level of anonymity.

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