As I mentionned in my previous post, today I had a date with Mads. Quite a short one as his role in At Eternity’s Gate was minor (though he was absolutely splendid, as usual), but a nice reunion anyway.

The movie was amazing. Truly worth a trip downtown despite the biting cold. There would be so much to say about it, but I don’t want this post to be a film review.

One thing I liked about At Eternity’s Gate is that the scarce dialogues give plenty of time to think during the presentation. And there was much to think about.

The story is about Vincent Van Gogh’s last years, working on his very unique painting style, and fighting his demons.

Almost everytime I discover a master’s history, my thoughts get spinning. I don’t know if I consider myself an artist. I don’t know what it takes to be considered an artist. But it seems that the greater an artist you are, the thinner the line is, between success and madness.

Van Gogh, like many others, constantly waltzed between the need to be recognized and liked, and the illusion that he didn’t care what people thought about what he did and who he was… I wouldn’t be blunt enough to say that I could relate with the mixed feelings the master had about his art, but I can see some similarities with my own thoughts. Thoughts I don’t usually share with others. Ideas, dreams, fears and doubts.

As I sat in the movie theater, I wished I could have had a chat with Vincent. About art, how very differently we all see Life, and how some of us want to paint, write or capture our own view in a picture. About how laying Life as we see it on different canevases is a way to immortalize a part of us. And how very personal the whole process is….

By the end of the movie, I was teary-eyed.

I know I’ll never be a master, someone people will look up to, in a couple of generations. But I do wonder if and how some of my words could make it through time, giving me a chance to linger on long after I’ll be gone.

So I could, too, knock at eternity’s gate.

P.S. I know I usually publish these posts later at night, but I am working at 6am tomorrow. I need the couple of hours of extra sleep. That’s why I wrote this one earlier 😉