As you might have noticed, I’ve been pretty quiet lately.

I will not bore you Lovelies with the details, but I think it was better for everybody if I kept my thoughts for myself for a while… I still try to work on my stories as much as time allows me to, which is not enough to my liking, but eh, such is Life, right?

I miss doing nonsense posts, so when I found this challenge on Barbara’s blog, I decided to try it out, to see if I still could switch my brain to silly. I’ll let you judge!

 

Rules

“It’s Just Plain….”

Ten questions for you to answer in the silliest way possible without giving the right answer!

Don’t answer the questions the right way!

Nominate one blogger to answer the questions, but before you do, create 2 new questions of your own to replace 2 existing questions.

“It’s Just Plain …” created by  A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! a pingback is always welcome but it also means l don’t miss out on the silliness either!

 

 

So, here are my answers…

 

• How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? 

This one is easy, and it also answers “Why do we press the up or down arrow repeatedly if a lift just won’t come to the floor where you are calling it?” See, the thumb, in hand reflexology, is linked to the head. So, pressing harder on buttons, or repeatedly, will stimulate this pressure point, and therefore prevent you from having a headache, in such a stressful moment!

 

• If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? 

Well, this doesn’t really apply in French. “Lime” in French is both the color and the fruit. Then, I think people just decided that eadible stuff’s nouns would be fit for the color it is… “Chocolate” and “Champagne” are colors too.

But while we are talking about fruit mysteries, could someone tell me where the noun “grapefruit” came from? Because aside the fact that they are both spheric, I don’t see the link with grapes… *sigh*

 

• Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?  

Men do it because they can’t both listen to music and look for specific numbers on a wall… We women do it, because we are considerate, and don’t want men to feel embarassed. But now you know… We, Ladies totally rock at finding adresses while singing along our favorite tunes!!

 

• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?  

I don’t know (and we have discussed citrus fruits already)… But I am pretty sure there is an “Want more information?” phone number on the back of both bottles. Call them, they’ll tell you!

 

• Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?  

Because the sun is a people-pleaser. And most people prefer lighter hair and darker skin.  Unfortunately, I am not “most people” and prefer darker hair and lighter skin… And that is why me and the sun aren’t friends anymore.

 

• Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?  

This is just out of ignorance… Notice that people who say that don’t have children. Parents relinquish the gift of sleep in exchange for babies. And when their offspring gets old enough to sleep through the night, parents’ brains get washed and they forget what it was like to be 3 years without much more than a nap. That’s why some people have several children.

 

• Why isn’t 11 pronounced “onety-one”?  

Isn’t it? Oooooops! How do you pronounce it then?? (Dang French roots!)

 

• What disease did cured ham actually have? 

I don’t know, but I hope it wasn’t the flu I am fighting, because it is rough this year!

 

• What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?  

I don’t encourage being judgemental…  You people always look awsome, no matter what you are doing!!

 

• What would your autobiography be called?
  

“I think my editor lost a bet!”

 

• Which animal would be the King/Queen/President (other gender-neutral terms are available and can be used, here) when (yes, I said when, the AI’s won’t be taking over, animals will) the animal kingdom rise up and take over?  

I’d want the suricates to take over the world. I’d love to watch a Suricate government meeting on the tv… With all the suricate ministers on their small chairs, looking very nervous and stepping up, one after the other, looking left and right… and rushing out of the chamber everytime they hear a strange noise!

 

• You’re on death row for a crime of your choice, what did you do, why did you do it, and what would your last meal be and why?

First of all, I’d like to express my gratitude for letting me choose the crime. I think that forcing people to commit specific crimes, especially if that leads them to death row, is particularly rude. So thank you!

What did I do? I would have thought it would be related to Denmark, but Danes are far too nice people for me to do un-nice things to them, and they would be much too kind to put me on death row for anything I could have done, anyway…  So I probably didn’t respect one of these new Suricate laws, and obviously didn’t get a fair trial due to translation problems…

Last meal? Anything cooked by Mads Mikkelsen… And finger-fed to me. And I’d like a farewell kiss for desert please!

 

• If your pet/child or the fly that lives in your bedroom if you have neither, had to give you a reference for your dream job, what would they say and do you think you’d get the job?  

Freja would definately volonteer to write me such a letter. And she’d probably say something like…

“I’ve lived with Cyranny for the last three years, and she is incredibly easy to boss around. She always feeds me on time, keeps my food and water bowl full, empties the litterbox, and does pretty much anything I ask of her. If she tries to pet you, just hiss and pretend you’ll scratch her, that works pretty well with me!

Judging from her previous job, Cyranny is a hard worker, because she spent a lot of time at the office (THANK GOD).  And you don’t have to worry about her being late, I’ll make sure she gets up, no matter how early. I need my alone time badly!”

And she’d join a picture of her Puss In Boots look, and yes… I’d get the job!

 

• A penguin walks through the door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?  

Well, it’s a sombrero wearing penguin, so I guess it is pretty obvious that it is one of the Suricate State prison guards. And it is saying “quack-quack quack quack-quack!” But as I said earlier, I am not really good with animal languages, so I can only tell that it has to do with something I am not allowed to do.

 

• How would you sell hot chocolate (cocoa) in the hottest country in the world? 

Well, since Denmark is the hottest country in the world, I would book a flight to Copenhagen, buy a nice food truck, paint “Varm Chokolade” on its side, find a nice spot to park, and my natural charm would do the rest!

 

• If you were a pizza delivery person, how would you benefit from the use of scissors? 

Would I sound dangerous if I said to defend myself? I would say to make these swirly ribbon gift wrapping for my pizza boxes. But I doubt people would appreciate the effort… What do you think, Ben?

 

• If you could have a machine that produced £100 for life, how much would you be willing to pay for it? 

Not much… We don’t use pounds here. What would I use it to, anyway??

 

• If you could have dinner with three people alive or dead, who would you pick and why?

The alive people. I heard that dead guests are incredibly boring to have at your table…

 

• Why do they call it ‘sun bathing’ when you don’t get wet?

I’d like to answer this one, but I can’t due to my bad relationship with the sun.

 

• What can you hold in your right hand that you can’t hold in your left hand?

Your left hand? You can try, but I highly doubt you’ll manage to.

 

My two additional questions are;

• Who decided that woodchucks can’t chuck wood? And why?
• What do you wish you had never learnt?

 

I won’t nominate anybody… If you feel like getting on the silly train, just join in! I’ll be glad to read your answers!